One time in my life, during senior high, I remembered that one of our assignments was to write a short story. It was so fun that I ended up writing a very long tale about a sappy high-school love story. Boy to boy, of course. It was not only loaded with love, but also with witchcraft, revenge and gore. I got the highest score at that time: 90 out of 100.
The funny thing was, although I did read and reread and proofread my writing that time before submitting it to the teacher, I couldn’t bear to read it once it was graded. And then I read a great quote that I hold true in many facets, even until today: you know you’ve written something good if when you read it one day, you love it and not embarrassed because of it.
Well, I’ve been reading and rereading many of my online writings, at my old weblogs at LittleScars and the Notes at my Facebook and I can say that I love them to bits. I mean, yes I am narcissistic and borderline megalomaniac, but I do love my writings and I’m proud of them. They may not be like Salman Rusdhie’s or John Updike’s, though, but I’m getting there – crossing fingers -.
The same thing is also applied to my dance. During the performances in Bellydance Jakarta’s 3rd Annual Recital Ball, I sucked at the veil number but thought that I did perfectly in the drum solo. But up until now, I don’t have the guts to watch the videos. During the performance at Shimmering Shimmies, I thought I did well in all the pieces, but I didn’t have the nerve to watch the videos… Until last night.
So yes, I still need much guidance and lots of dance experiences. Hopefully in less than a decade, before my hair starts to fall off and I get my first wrinkle, I can present a dance that not only looks perfect in my imagination, but also in videos.