Twelve Years

It has been twelve years since I last posted to this blog. A lot of things have happened: Tribal Fest dissolution, Covid-19, and FatChanceBellyDance no longer having a physical presence in its birthplace of San Francisco.

I had a blog post draft in 2017 entitled "Four-Year Itch," where I wanted to write about how I wanted to take a soft retirement from ATS. I was disillusioned by the ATS dance scene in Los Angeles. My inability to find students was a large contribution, as well as a disastrous sword performance. 

Los Angeles is a city of hustlers, and I don't hustle enough or have the knack to hustle. 

Still, it hurt me when a studio asked someone else to teach ATS, even if I had teacher certification and they didn't. Even if I lived five minutes away from the studio and that person didn't. Even if the studio owner knew me. 

Still, I took the classes because I enjoyed dancing ATS. 

Fast forward to 2026, and I'm a student again. I want to say I don't think I'll ever be a good enough teacher, or at least have enough students. And I've made peace with the idea of always being the bridesmaid and never a bride. 

American Tribal Style bellydance is still big in parts of the US and parts of the world. It's never going to be as big as other forms of dance, including its big siblings, raqs sharqi and tribal fusion, and I've made peace with it too. 

Being a student has its own advantages. You wouldn't need to contend with the anxiety of rejection or having to cover studio fees because nobody showed up to class. This acceptance came with age as well. 

If you're looking for American Tribal Style classes in San Francisco, my good friend Yuka Sakata still teaches pure FatChanceBellyDance ATS every Saturday and every other Tuesday. Go to her website here. 

If you're looking for American Stribal Style classes in Los Angeles, Mark Bissell teaches FCBD ATS in East LA. 

lilith's bali debut

Years ago, when I first met Lilith, I had big dreams.

And so, here it is. Sorry for the quality of the video, though. Haha.

In case you're wondering, the first song is by contemporary Balinese musician, Ayu Laksmi. The title of the song is Maha Asa (Big Dream). I've been using it for ATS® Puja.

just like a woman

It is a well-known fact that movies that at least try to portray belly dance in a fair way are not that many. In fact, I can only name one that I know of. Then there's Just Like a Woman (SPOILER AHEAD). 

This movie came out in 2013, directed by Rachid Bouchareb. It's about two acquaintances, Marilyn (Sienna Miller) and Mona (Golsfhiteh Farahani) who are forced by circumstances to get on a road trip from Chicago to Santa Fe in Marilyn's car. Marilyn goes to Santa Fe to audition for a belly dance company (as recommended by her belly dance instructor, Peter). She's hesitant at first, but then she's fired from her job and comes home to catch her deadbeat husband cheating on her with a pizza delivery girl.

Mona, on the other hand, is an immigrant, and a wife of a very loving husband (Mourad, played by the ruggedly handsome Roschdy Zem) and an overbearing mother-in-law (Chafia Boudraa) who demands to have a grandchild and accuses Mona of being infertile. One night, Mona spills her mother-in-law's pills and yet serves them to her anyway. The mother-in-law dies in the morning, and Mona, overcome with guilt, runs away. She has no idea where to go, but kismet brings her bus exactly where Marilyn is parking her car. The two meet, and Marilyn decides to take Mona with her.

Marilyn (foreground) and Mona (background) dancing at their first gig. 

Peter (Marilyn's instructor) gives several recommendations for restaurants Marilyn can dance at. Her first gig actually needs two women (how lucky!). Mona, being a Middle-Easterner, is (supposedly) a natural belly dancer, so Marilyn asks Mona to accompany her dancing at restaurants (one of them looks like a really seedy bar).

Mona belly dancing to flirt with her husband in their convenience store as Marilyn watches in the back.

The first song they danced to is Hisham Abbas' Nari Narayn and they seem to be just wiggling around. They get paid and the tip money is good, and they think everything is fine and dandy until the Arab patron comes to their rooms (apparently they stay at his place) and demands to sleep with Mona. Marilyn answers for Mona and says she's not interested, then the patron asks to sleep with Marilyn, who, of course, refuses. The patron gets angry and Marilyn decides that Mona and she has to leave. One thing, though, the patron says his clients do not like blonde dancing girls, so from then on, Marilyn wears a wig (this wig later becomes important because near the end of the movie when Marilyn gets physically abused by two rednecks and unable to audition, Mona takes her place and disguises as Mona, wears her wig, and is accepted into the dance company).

Marilyn dancing at a bar for their second gig. 

In the mean time, Marilyn's deadbeat husband wants her back (I don't think he knows that she doesn't have a job anymore) and Mona's loving husband wants her back too (with two police officers who start off sounding important and adding tension to the movie but somehow just fade in the background).

In the middle of their journey, Marilyn learns that Mona is on the wanted list and she confronts Mona. Mona tells her what happened and Marilyn abandons her at a gas station in the middle of nowhere America, and Mona, not knowing where she is (she's not American, she's never been outside of Chicago, the only path she knows is to get from her house to the store that her husband runs) just stays put in desperation. Marilyn then changes her mind and comes back to get Mona.

I don't know where to start. Some of the costumes just look cheap (but then again, Marilyn is trying to be a professional dancer, so that explains the cheap-looking costumes). Then the very typical music choices... But let's begin.

Mona auditioning as Marilyn.

There's no sense of progress in the story. The music and the dancing skills don't progress. Mona shows Samia Gamal to Marilyn, but I don't think that inspires Marilyn. At one point, Mona tells Marilyn to use another song (thank God) and to dance with abandon (YES!) but nothing comes of it. I was hoping that Mona shows Marilyn a thing or two about dancing, about music, about being in touch with the dance itself (so many Middle-Easterners pride themselves for being able to dance to Middle-Eastern songs because those are their songs and so they can be really in touch with their dance because everything flows naturally while non-Middle-Easterners struggle to achieve this kind of flow, this kind of tarab that is discussed in Whatever Lola Wants). Mona doesn't even smile when she auditions and yet she gets the part.

There's no tension when there should be lots of tensions. You have an immigrant (and not just an immigrant, but from the Middle-East, forpetessake, in the USA!), you have the stereotypical Arab people who always blame and degrade women, you have a loving husband desperately searching for his missing wife (who later says she doesn't want him back because she thinks he's failed to stand up for her), you have two cops (one of them is perhaps a racist bastard) whose roles just disappear.

Angles and editing. You know, I have no idea why this movie is rated R. You can hardly even see the dance. The story itself begins way too slow.

The ending. Which is so anticlimactic.

The dance. The dance itself is just meh, most likely because we don't really see what's happening. Then there's also no progression. Actually it gets worse (from an Arab restaurant to a seedy bar? Or is the movie trying to show what the belly dance scene in the USA is really like? Which, if it's true, then it's another missed opportunity).

There are good moments in Just Like a Woman, though. When Mona is left in that gas station and she takes off her coat and stands there while still in a belly dance costume, now that's desperation. The wide shots really inform the audience that she is in the middle of nowhere. Then there's tender moment between Mona and her husband as she flirts with him in the store. Then Samia Gamal. Then Natacha Atlas' Adam's Lullaby (although really, Natacha Atlas? It's been used). The male belly dance instructor (yes!). The fact that there are women of all shapes and sizes and some are even tattooed in his class (YEAH!). Although, both the male belly dance instructor and the other-sized women don't really have a role in this movie.

Well, I'll just leave you with this image. Here's Mona's husband doing something I don't know what, unfortunately not from Just Like a Woman (ya think?). 

hot and bothered

Let me say this up front: I am a very sexual person. The only fetishes I'm not interested in are scat and permanent scarring. Oh, and leather, since I'm vegan. And I cannot stand the smell.

For decades, belly dancers have been trying to fight the stigma of belly dance being a sexy dance, and by that I mean dance of seduction, this is especially true in a muslim-dominated country like Indonesia. Three years ago, my troupe mates from the velvetRAQS were set to perform a belly dance show for an outdoor festival in the Monas area. Then the Jakarta governor at that time, that asshole jerk corrupt Fauzi Bowo (who went to the same all-male Catholic high school that I did which made me think he was different but turned out he wasn't) came and specifically ordered the belly dance show be removed or else he would not want to attend the event (he was the guest of honor). My troupe got paid in full anyway, but still.

I don't do Salsa, but from what I know, Salsa nights are more common than belly dance nights, and people here are very enthusiastic about the dance. I've seen how touchy-feely Salsa is and the ladies usually wear really short skirts (with great respect to Salsa dancers, I love what you're doing, but I don't understand how Salsa can get more respect than belly dance. Maybe it's the name?). This also goes to Tango.

One of my teachers at FatChanceBellyDance®, Ms. Sandi Ball, also does Polynesian dance. One time, she posted a photo of her teacher and his troupe dancing on stage. And all I could see were his body. I mean, I've seen videos of male Hula performers and I have to stay, they got me hot and bothered, awkay? Here, have a looksee.

Seriously, if you're a straight woman or a gay man, how can you not? Unless of course they're not your type. But bloody hell. Picture taken from this page.

Here's the thing: I am guilty of making lewd comments about those hunks, and for that, I am sorry. Okay, so maybe "lewd" is not the correct word to describe what I wrote (it was more along the lines of exclamations like "yummy" or "hot" and I kept the nasty thoughts to my own nasty self), but it is not the dancer's fault if the audience member's member gives him a standing ovation (I can't believe I just wrote that).

Last year, when I performed in Bali, I had an audience member (an Arab male) asking me for a photo. I obliged. Then for the second photo, he asked me to sit on his lap. I declined. I told him that he could look but he couldn't touch. He backed off.

I danced Oriental and from time to time I dance Tribal Fusion, and I know that there are songs that require our faces to be flirty and playful, and they are translated by the audience as seductive (and our costumes are also less covered than ATS®). It is up to us as dancers to let the audience know that they can look (and take photos) and talk to us, but nothing more than that. I had a long discussion with my male American friend  about that incident with Beyonce, and I said that she was an entertainer and although she wore a body-hugging suit and danced the way she did, it didn't mean that the guy could touch her in any way at all.

Male belly dancers have been present throughout the ages. We hear names like the late John Compton to Tito Seif to Mohamed Shahin, then there are Zadiel and Eliran Amar. Here's one of Eliran's very popular videos.

It is his right to wear those skimpy panels. It is his right to show off his yummy bod. However, to be honest, it could've been covered just a teensy bit more. I was hoping to be flashed. When that didn't happen, I was both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because no wardrobe malfunction occurred. Disappointed because, well, I'm a perv. This is where costume choice comes into the equation. In the video, his facial expression is far from seductive, but yours truly here still fans himself whenever he sees this clip.

My point is, there are things we can do to control how we want the audience (and the world) to perceive what belly dance is, and those things include pre and post performance attitude, costume choice, and make-up, and to some extent our facial expression (which is essentially related to the song we dance to). Yet it is alright (and expected) to be angry whenever an audience member "cracks" a slut "joke" and becomes touchy-feely.

There's a huge difference between thinking lewd thoughts and actually doing them. There's also a huge difference between doing those lewd things with consent and doing them without consent.

Fact of the matter is, there are still people who don't know the difference. I guess I'm a polite perv, or I have good self-restraint.

There are belly dancers who try their best to fight this slutty dance label and at the same time there are those who get bashed on this hilarious Tumblr. These people have helped perpetuate said label. Perhaps unknown to them. Hopefully unknown to them. (Addendum: okay, so perhaps that Tumblr isn't hilarious and the writer gets defensive from time to time, and thinks s/he knows what belly dance is or not, but who am I to say what is or isn't belly dance?).

Back to Salsa and Tango. Maybe they get more recognition (and by recognition I mean serious dance movies like Take the Lead and Scent of a Woman, the former has this really seductive dance scene). See how the female dancer has that "look but don't touch" attitude and that air of aloofness? That's what I mean.

I don't know. I'm blabbering all over the place. I guess I'm just jealous of the recognition that other dance forms have received and enjoyed in the mainstream media while belly dance is still stuck in being hoochie-koochie and cheap. I mean, come on. Even Twerking gets more respect.

an artist's attitude

My admiration for Zoe Jakes is apparent. I adore her spins, her pops and locks, her make-up, her jewelry, her energy. She is a skilled dancer and theatrical performer.

In my previous post, I've written about how I felt elated when she said that a piece of jewelry she wore was Javanese. That particular blog post is about cultural appropriation and what I think about it. Then yesterday, I saw this video.

I am not an authority on Balinese dance (or any traditional Indonesian dance), but I've seen enough Balinese dance performances to notice there's something that doesn't sit well with me.

Let me tell you, I am not offended by this performance, and to be honest, I think this is one of the ways to promote Indonesian dance. I mean, Colleena Shakti has consistently done this with traditional Indian dance and I know that Odissi is gaining popularity what with Sonia Ochoa, Moria Chappell, and one of my dear friends Allison Mulroy going to Ms. Shakti's school in Pushkar, India to learn Odissi. Traditional Indonesian dance is a dying art form. As an Indonesian, I can't help but feel somewhat guilty about this, because I am not interested in learning any traditional Indonesian dance (largely because most of these dances require discipline and hard work and they have really intricate footwork and arm work, and I'm just too stupid. I quit Kathak after only four sessions).

I know there are Balinese dancers or those who are well-versed in this dance form who will probably be offended, so I think it's only fair to mention that Zoe Jakes and Marci Ann have been studying with Gamelan Sekar Jaya (I don't know for how long). (Addendum: click here for further explanation from the person who helped Zoe choreographed this piece.)

Now back to my gut feeling: I don't mind the headdress and the costume (I don't know if there's a religious significance attached to them), but some movements don't gel with the gamelan music. For example, the "Floorwork Body Dive" at 1:14 to 1:26; The pop, lock, and little drops that Zoe does at 1:44 to 1:49 and the chest shimmies at 1:42. I don't know whether or not these movements are in the Balinese dance vocabulary, but they somehow don't look right.

I am not trying to be diplomatic nor kiss ass, and maybe I'm just insensitive and have the tendency to sell-out, but I don't feel that my culture is being appropriated by this performance. It intrigues me and makes me feel uncomfortable, but not offended.

One of my closest ATS® dance friends and I had a discussion about this video performance, and we both agreed on one thing: the artist attitude. When I was an undergrad working on my degree in advertising, I had a professor in Copywriting class who kept telling us that we were not artists, that we still had to keep in mind how the audience (or the client) would perceive our work. I think that keeps me in check with my own approach in trying to create a choreography. For some people, this may mean less freedom, but it also may also mean giving value to (and therefore respecting) the audience. The thing is, I don't know if people (who have authority on an art form or a religion or a culture) will criticize an artist's performance simply because of the artist (diva worship). Not criticizing the artist, not presenting the artist with an opposing view point (not necessarily negative), is actually bad for the artist's growth.

I like to equate this to a bad red carpet dress choice. Many celebrities have had their hits and misses. Many celebrities have had their phases of bad dresses. Some have survived and become fashion icons, some are still trapped in that phase. They might have survived because they listen to those who shook their head and said, "Honey, don't." They might have survived because they saw their pictures and shook their head and said, "I can't believe none of my friends told me, 'Honey, don't'!" But here's a counter argument: who's to say what's garish and what isn't? Who's to say what works and what doesn't? I don't like too skimpy and transparent clothes on the red carpet, but some people may call me prude.

Paige Lawrence, the director of the Uru Tribe, wrote a very poignant Note on his Facebook page. It's a reflection of the Uru Tribe's journey to Tribal Fest 13, and how he feels about his own performance. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, and sometimes it's a good thing, because it may mean we are constantly trying to evolve, to grow, to challenge ourselves, to come out of our comfort zone. I still cringe (A LOT) whenever I see videos of myself performing.

Here's hoping that people won't see Zoe Jakes and Marci Ann's performance at Tribal Fest 13 as a true and authentic representation of Balinese dance. I know the introduction says "inspired", but we all know things can get lost and murky in translation.

some things happened

There have been times when I felt I was the luckiest boy on Earth. As socially awkward as I am, I know a thing or two about American Tribal Style® belly dance, and that's about it.

Lucky for me, I have the opportunity to stay in the East Bay and take classes at the FatChanceBellyDance® studio. I get to dance with the student troupe, Blue Diamonds Belly Dance, and last February, I had the honor to perform with some members of Blue Diamonds along with two of my teachers, Wendy Allen and Kae Montgomery, at Tannourine. 

Photo by Yuka Sakata

Then of course there was the Devotion Kickstarter Party at Bissap Baobab Village last month. I just had to dance at this event because I won't be able to make it to this year's Devotion Show. Dancewave Center collaborates with Gedung Kesenian Jakarta for Jakarta's Anniversary Festival on June 15, 2013. More on this later. 

In orange choli is Larissa Archer, yes, she's the daughter of The Masha Archer

But the real treat was this year's Cues & Tattoos. 

You see, some of the Blue Diamonds girls thought that it would be sweet to dance at Cues & Tattoos as some sort of a farewell for me (I thought I was going to leave the USA for good somewhere in mid 2013, but that won't happen because I'm staying at least for another year to get a dual degree in nonfiction. Yes). 

So there you have it: Taksu Tribal. "Taksu" is a Balinese word which means "good energy" or "spirit". I'm going to leave the video right here so you can see for yourself if we have Taksu.

Addendum: Just to rub it in, here's what Ms. Nericcio wrote about Taksu Tribal. 

Proud, happy faces post dancing, posing with Ms. Carolena Nericcio!

But wait, there's more. 

So I told Rob / Valizan that I was going to go to Cues & Tattoos. He rounded up two other boys who were based in Seattle (Russ Martin & Rich Williams). I've met and danced with Russ at the FCBD® studio when he was taking General Skills & Teacher Trainings. He has killer Layback. I'm friends with Valizan and Rich on the Internet but never actually danced with them before. But you know, it's ATS®. It only took about two hours of getting used to dancing with each other and BAM! Sons of Trimurti was on the stage. 

Katherine Erickson (owner of the fabulous Silk Road Tribal) said that when Sons of Trimurti danced on stage, the shopping stopped. The only time she'd seen that was during Suhaila Salimpour's troupe performance. 

I'm still waiting for a video, but for now, here are some of the photos of Sons of Trimurti. (Purple: Rich Williams; Gold: Rob Galbraith / Valizan; Turquoise: Russ Martin)

Photos by LJ Brackenbury

Photo by David of CheekyMonkeyCaravan

Addendum: The video cometh! Courtesy of Laurie LA Tribal.

Seattle was uncharacteristically sunny and warm. So here's a photo of Kitty, my faithful companion for more than two decades, in front of the Space Needle. 

There will be a review of the festival as well as some pictures from the Instructor's Showcase very soon!

I'm going to end this entry by quoting a line from Bridget Jones's Diary: 

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.

And of course vice versa.

Yes, I know: I'm a very, very lucky boy indeed.

shimmies and shimmies

Ya know, it's a bit ironic that I call myself (on this blog anyway) "the boy who shimmies", and yet I find myself unable to shimmy properly, well, the Oriental shimmy anyway. However, when it comes to ATS® Shimmy, I feel very confident and at home.

Sensei Kae, Ms. Sandi Ball, and Ms. Wendy Allen all did shimmy drills on the course of two weeks. Beginning with Sensei Kae (another shimmy & spin class) on Thursday night (we also learned the tricky art of Over Shimmy), Ms. Ball on Saturday afternoon (have you ever seen how she flawlessly executes ASWAT? I have her tips below), Ms. Allen on Wednesday (I felt a bit adventurous and took the 51A bus to cross Oakland and Emeryville to Alameda where she teaches, then Sensei Kae again just a few hours ago (more shimmy drills).

So, okay... Here are the tips from Ms. Sandi Ball:

1. To make your ATS® Shimmy even, if you're like me (my left shimmy is weaker than my right when I'm doing Turkish and Arabic Shimmy), then switch your focus from your right hip to your left hip. Concentrate on the left hip only. Your right hip is already shimmying big and nice and juicy, now it's the left hip's turn to get some lovin'. This was a lightbulb moment. It works for me. 
2. When doing Arabic, there's this contrast going with your upper body (chest and torso) and arms. When the right foot steps down on one, think of stepping down but your upper body goes upward, like floating up, this is to get your chest to lift and your torso to undulate). Then as the left foot steps down on two, it's like your upper body (down to your hip, actually) sits down. On one, as the upper body goes upward, the arms plunge down in front of the body, then floats up on the side to over head from second to eighth counts. Add shimmies and you have Arabic Shimmy. 
3. For ASWAT, this is how you achieve Ms. Sandi Ball's ASWAT flawlessness: as you're turning on fifth to eighth counts, keep your left hand near your left hip on five and six and left it float on seven and finish on eight. Letting the left hand sit there for five and six gives more aerodynamism, plus you won't hit your dance partners as you turn. 

This is one of my favorite videos, despite its lighting quality. Although I think the dark lighting adds the mood. 

Well, I'm blogging at San Francisco International Airport now, waiting for a grueling economy class flight back to Jakarta. I'm so sad to miss classes at the mothership for three months, but I'm glad that I closed it rather well: I got to dance with a guy! His name is Russ, he's from Seattle. He's at the studio for General Skills and Teacher Trainings. So that means... Another male joining the clan!

Sensei Kae just had to do the Shimmy drills. Then I had to drag two suitcases, each one weighing 23 kg (50 pounds), from my apartment on the third floor, all the way down, and walked five blocks to the bus stop. Then one block to the BART station. One of the suitcases contains Kali, Lilith's twin. I was a bit worried because I thought the suitcase containing Kali was oversized and Singapore Airlines has restrictions over the combined linear dimension of the suitcases. I even phoned their rep in SF, and I thought I had to pay USD 109, but it turned out fine. They checked in well. 

I'm so tired. I just want to find my seat (I get window seat this time, YAY!), get comfy, see the in-flight movies, and cocoon myself. 

I'll see you soon. I need to blog an addendum about ASWAT and Sunanda. 

tribal fest 12: year of the unicorn and the emperor's new clothes

Vell, vell, vell, Tribal Vest... vee meet again...

When you see a dirty rear window of a Toyota, with what appears to be an om sign missing its hat drawn on the dirt, instead of something that says "I'm filthy, wash me?" you know you're in another realm.

This time, I didn't take any workshops nor stayed near Sebastopol. Instead, Laura picked Julia and me up at Julia's apartment in Berkeley, and we went from there. We arrived in Sebastopol on Saturday, May 19, 2012, at around 10 AM, just in time to catch Laura Elizabeth's performance. 

We only came on one day: Saturday, and boy it was a treat. It was the day of ATS®. We had Ujbaba from Russia (those girls... I've said this once, and I'm going to say this again: Ujbaba proves that no matter how far removed you are from the mother ship, you can still have the ATS® posture and attitude), Spin-Off (Ms. Wendy Allen's student troupe from Alameda, CA), Blue Diamonds Belly Dance (student troupe of FatChanceBellyDance®) and of course, FatChanceBellyDance® themselves.  

It was a day of shopping (I finally got two saye goshas that I'd been eyeing ever since last year's Tribal Fest) and Silk Road Tribal did not disappoint. Thank God I didn't have that much money and they were out of red talhakimts, or I'd be more broke. If that's even possible. 

Other notable mentions were: Donna Mejia-Ela Rogers-Hilde Cannoodt Intrepid Bodacity, Donna Mejia's solo, Ela Rogers' solo (I finally understood her. She had this... amazing stage presence, and her facial expression was so spot on), Ambush Bellydance (I don't understand why this group is named this way, but they were spectacular), Devi Mamak & April from Ghawazi Caravan (using Flamenco and ATS®, they were moving poetry), and Paige Lawrence (he can actually dance, and this is probably inappropriate, but I don't care: I find him really attractive). That being said, I was busy going in and out and eating with my dance sisters, and so I didn't really sit still and see the whole show. 

And we took off earlier for dinner at Infusion Cafe (or something - great tea, but the food was total rip off, and it took them ages to make our dinner, and they let two crazy dudes in: one was playing the guitar in the parking lot and then came into the cafe, STILL PLAYING THE DAMN GUITAR, and the other was high beyond belief. The high guy was spotted at Tribal Fest too). So I missed this (somehow NSFW): 

breaking the brick wall

Yes, this is still about the brick wall.

Princess Farhana wrote an excellent article about choosing the music to dance to. I only have a few things to say about it.

The first one is: I agree with everything she wrote.

Whenever I see people who work hard to do what they do and do it so beautifully, I can't help but feel envious. I can never sing as good as Sarah Brightman or do melisma as precise as (the recorded) Beyonce. I was feeling nostalgic and watched Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (RIP Mary Wickes) and I realized that, just like in the first movie, those people could sing well, and it broke my heart that when I tried to sing along, I marred the song.

The same thing also happened in writing. I'm not talking about the big, published names. I'm talking about my classmates. There were times when I just closed my eyes when they read their piece and then heard great lines and thought, "Crap! That was an awesome line! Why didn't I think of that?"

Then there's the dance.

There are dancers with clear and precise pops and locks (Kami Liddle, Ela Rogers, April Rose, Samantha Emanuel). There are the dancers with spins and turns to die for (Zoe Jakes, Petite Jamila). There are dancers with incredible gymnastic skills and flexibility (Rachel Brice, Frank Farinaro). There are dancers with killer shimmies (Amar Gamal, Alexey Paraschuk, Bozenka, Dondi Dahlin). There are dancers who are amazing choreographers (Jillina, Sabah Saeed). There are dancers with effortless grace (Colleena Shakti, Devi Mamak, Sonia Ochoa, Mihrimah Ghaziya, Maria Aya). There are dancers with such posture that command the room (FatChanceBellyDance, Tamalyn Dallal).

But most all, these dancers (and more whom I didn't mention) can move the way I want to move. Every time I see the pops and locks and every time I listen to songs that move me and inspire me to do the pops and locks and ticks, I get frustrated and hit the brick wall. Why? Because I can't do them.

Every time I listen to Bollywood songs and then get to my feet and want to move, I get frustrated and hit the brick wall. Why? Because I know nothing of Hindi moves and mudras and what have you.

There's a little Tribal get-together that Tribal Babes Indonesia hosts right the next day after The Dance Within 3D: One World. Cinzia di Cioccio of Les Soeurs Tribales is going to have a workshop and then she's going to dance in the get-together. I was asked to dance two numbers and there are already a million songs to choose from.

Finally, I chose two songs and just sent them to Desi, the organizer from Tribal Babes Indonesia. I told her that I was sending the songs to her so I could stop making it harder for me to choose the songs I wanted to dance to. By sending the songs, I could concentrate on practicing with the two songs. I'll be dancing an ATS solo for the first one and Tribal Fusion for the second one.

I'm taking Princess Farhana's advice. No matter how hard I want to do pops and locks and ticks, I'm going to do what I can do with my body, at least for now.

the dance within 3d: one world

Well, I'm excited.

I'm half way across the galaxy, inundated with school work and classes at the FatChanceBellyDance Studio, trying hard to keep the insects from occupying my apartment, and making the most of the Thanksgiving break. All this while my fellow dancers back home at our dance institution Dancewave Center are plotting and toiling our third annual recital, The Dance Within 3D: One World.

The Internet is really making our lives easier. I'm not just talking about posting events over at Facebook or tweeting the latest updates, or uploading pages of information to DancewaveCenter.com, it's also the convenience of reviewing drafts of designs for the posters, fliers, tickets, and other promotional materials, the Messenger chats with Ms. Miftahul Jannah, velvetRAQS director and general manager of Dancewave Center, as well as conversations with Monique Chai, co-general manager of Dancewave Center and director of the Hip Hop and Burlesque troupes of Dancewave Center.

The result is this:

The Dance Within 3D: One World is Dancewave Center's third annual recital. It's going to be held at the prestigious Gedung Kesenian Jakarta, on Saturday, 7 January 2012. It features signature dance-theatrical performances with dances from around the globe: Hip Hop, Oriental (Folkloric and Modern), Tribal (American Tribal Style and Fusion), Burlesque, Bollywood, and Contemporary.

This year, after reminding our beloved audience of the importance of Dance (2009), and the Dream (2010), it's time to remember the Duty. Hence the 3D: the Dance, the Dream, the Duty.

And this Duty is to our beloved blue planet, to the great Mother of all: Earth.

Tickets are on sale now. For more information, go to the website.

skirts

A few months ago, I got connected to a male ATS dancer, the first male to ever receive the Teacher Training 2 certification for the FCBD format. His name is Valizan. I shot him an e-mail, asking him about the costuming guidelines for male ATS dancers. He told me about two more dancers, one of them is Michael McElhaney (formerly of Azure Bellydance, the first male ATS dancer, and part of FCBD student troupe in the nineties). Michael's name came through quite a few times during Teacher Training 2 where we discussed male ATS dancers, and both Ms. Nericcio and Ms. Sandi Ball agreed that he was very handsome. Valizan sent me Michael's photo and I had to concur.

In our e-mail exchange, I told Valizan that I was envious of the fact that our dance sisters could wear skirts that accentuated their movements (have you ever seen ATS dancers spinning while wearing the full, 25 yard skirts? It's a gorgeous sight to behold!) and he told me to try one of those Banjara Skirts.

So, thanks to Valizan (he's the male dancer in the video above that showcases how awesome Shades of Araby is), I caught the Banjara Skirt bug. After many months of the fever, I finally relented and began my quest for the perfect skirt. Tribal Fest 11 came and went and still the skirts were too Goldilocks-and-the-Three-Bears for my taste (too blue, too red, too orange, too many colors, too little colors, too wide, too short, too expensive, too new, too old, and other toos). Then I scoured for many nights and days (mostly nights, therefore sacrificing my precious sleep time) for the perfect one. If I had to be broken in, it must be perfect.

My trusted Amazon.com didn't have anything, and so, with a heavy heart, I opened an eBay account. Then I found Sirik's store. It's like a candy shop for kids, a sex shop for lonely adults, a sequin shop for Cabaret Oriental dancers. It has so many things to offer for ATS dancers, and then some. And I saw it. The Skirt.

Alas, it was still quite expensive (USD 89, plus USD 10 for shipping and handling), so I retreated. From time to time, I stalked Sirik's page, looking at the beautiful thing (and some others), and then it happened.

A 30% discount. So I bought it without thinking more.

After a few hassles (Erec, Sirik's owner, didn't respond to my initial messages asking for the tracking number, and then during my search on the Interwebz, I realized that the USPS Priority Mail didn't offer tracking number unless requested - and there's a fee for that; I ended up not knowing when the package would arrive, and finally received a notification in my mail slot that the package was waiting for me in a nearby USPS office), at long last, I received it.

And yes, it is beautiful. Despite the initial mixed-up, I highly recommend Sirik. He replied to my other messages with genuine concern, so yes, there is a good chance that I will buy from him again.

tribal fest 11

I can't believe I'm in Sebastopol, CA, getting myself spoiled by taking classes from Ms. Carolena Nericcio, spending at NakaRali and Silk Road Tribal's booths, and watching hours of performances by my idols. Yes. I went to Tribal Fest 11.

Okay. Let's begin the review.

I wrote a separate thought on the location of Tribal Fest on my San Francisco blog.

It was sheer luck that I still managed to squeeze myself in Ms. Nericcio's workshop. And what a workshop it was.

We were taught the essentials of performing: formation, grand entrance, eye contact, absolutely no verbal communications while dancing, fade, chorus work, technique on taking a bow, and the grand exit. Ms. Suzanne Elliott also taught some new moves, a.k.a. Devi Mamak's addition to FCBD's movement vocabulary. We learned the Pulse Turn, Rainbow, Box Step (and Turn).

Many of the issues discussed in the workshop were covered in General Skills and Teacher's Training 1 & 2, but there were so many valuable inputs and constant reminders (of posture, eye contact, dance angle - I sucked on the latter), that I kept finding myself nodding to information both I had heard before and just heard then.

Here're the inputs I took note of:

1. Dance Angle: if the leader does not stand in dance angle, followers must stand in dance angle.
2. Eye Contact: breaking eye contact can be a nonverbal cue that someone will become the leader. Break eye contact when in the 7 o'clock position to become the leader.
3. Fade: flat out first to sign for a fade, then stay in flat angle (not dance angle) so the followers can see the cues better. However, when doing Arabic / Bodywave, flatten the angle to the left, and go back to dance angle when in stationary fade position.

Now, on to the performances.

I don't have so much to say, except the good ones were too short (Mardi Love and Rachel Brice each danced to one short song, Kami Liddle did a stellar Tribal-Hindi fusion), the crazy ones were too long (I won't name names, they're a mile better than I am because they actually had the courage to go up on the stage and dance), and the surprises were so, so good.

The numbers that were just perfect were: Zoe Jakes & Special Guests (including Kami! Yay!), Samantha Emanuel's duet with another magnificent dancer whose name escaped my ears (as usual), Persephone Dance Company (I took GS & TT 1-2 with two of Persephone dancers! My God, they're so, so, so good), Red Lotus (FCBD's sister troupe), and FCBD (the headliner, I swear, Ms. Nericcio won the longest flutter award! Although her solo was far, far too short! Ms. Lalwani looked soooo pretty in pink & black.). Jill Parker and her Foxglove Sweethearts were also a highlight, and I was completely awestruck by Unmata's dramatic performance (their ending was so apt, with the troupe members holding out signs that said "Do What You Want" - I almost cried).

I took so many pictures that I got confused on which one to upload to the blog, and yet I didn't take enough. It was so hard to take photos and see the dance. I made a difficult decision: I forsook (that's the past tense of "forsake". Believe me. I checked) taking pictures and just watched the dance.

I'm still feeling the jitters.

FCBD's set was so intense that it left me with adrenaline rush.

I was sitting there with Yuka and Maho (Maho's Sensei Kae's sister), both of them are FCBD students, and a conversation took place after I bought a pure silver NakaRali belt that Maho had put on hold and we discussed about the opportunity of being adopted by Bill Gates.

"I don't want to be famous," Maho said.

"Well, if you're dancing with FCBD, you'll become famous," I replied.

"Is that why you're dancing with FCBD?"

"No. I want to bring FCBD ATS to Indonesia, and have Carolena do a workshop in Indonesia," I felt a glimmer of hope in my eyes.

After Frank Farinaro's set, Maho asked if I wanted to be like him. I said no, I wanted to be like Mardi Love when I grew up.

"Really?" Maho egged on.

"Umm... I guess no... I want to be like Kami Liddle!" I corrected myself with rare determination. Maho smiled and we watched more shows.

During an applause, I turned to Maho and finally confessed, "No. I want to be like Carolena Nericcio!" I said it dreamily, not unlike a schoolboy fantasizing of being kissed by the handsome, athletic classmate.

"the dance within" - the first annual recital of dancewave center jakarta

Yep, it's official!

The dance institution I'm currently involved with, DanceWave Center Jakarta, is going to throw its first ever annual recital!

Not only am I excited to be able to perform in the event, but also because I'm serving as the chairman and co-originator of the concept. Yeah!! Finally, something that I can be proud of.

"Defying norms, disobeying regulations. To dance, to live, to celebrate"

Saturday, November 21st, 2009 - 7 PM onwards
Auditorium of Radio Republik Indonesia (RRI) Jakarta
Jl. Medan Merdeka Barat, Jakarta

Tickets are Rp. 75,000 (House / Stage Level)
and Rp. 65,000 (Wing / Stage Level)
Contact me at famousfeline@yahoo.com or +62811939906 for tickets

Now, I'm going tell a litle bit about the concept to you.

We started off with a very simple idea: two rival dance schools trying to outdo one another. Of course, one of the hip hop teachers said that it was too much like Step Up 2! Meow. I hadn't watched the movie at that time so I didn't know. So off we went on our own merry ways, trying to figure a great story line.

You might probably be thinking, oh what's so hard about finding a story for a belly dance recital? Well, that's the problem. It's not just a belly dance recital. DanceWave Center Jakarta teaches not only American Cabaret Belly Dance, but also Hip Hop Dance (with Sexy Ladies / Hip Hop Burlesque Dance as the offshoot).

Some of you might know that Indonesia has this newly installed porn-bill. It's umm... a set of laws that regulates pornograpy in the country. The bill is very controversial because many people (especially artists and those who work in the fields of art) fee that it really limits their work. After the bill was officiated, one of the traditional dances here, the Jaipong Dance from West Java, recently got mentioned as being too porn-y to be danced in public, thus inciting public outcry from the much publicized incident.

Se we thought, why not use it? Belly dance (or dance, or art in general) is definitely not a porn dance, yet it is considered as vulgar by many people. Then a story was built. We created a character, a nameless dictator with his two loyal henchmen. The dictator forbids all kinds of dance in the country and with his two henchmen always manages to ruin dance shows and performances.

The dancers are so fed-up that they throw a secret underground dance party, not only to show off their talents, but also to do what they really love: dancing.

Sadly, the evil dictator and his henchmen were able to slip into the party. Yes. He comes, he sees, and he conquers. But what does he conquer? Does he conquer the dancers, imprison them for good, and finally restore his version of peace in the country? Or does he conquer himself and let the passion from within - the dance within - to overcome and overtake him?

You gotta come and see the show to know.

And I'm not going to overrate it (no, seriously), so all I can say is that all these dancers, both the hip hop dancers and the belly dancers are doing some serious practices and rehearsals.

The hip hop dancers are ready to show you dancing feats that are, as they put it, "really rad". Like steppin', stompin', poppin' & lockin', crumpin', other in'-s, as well as classic hip hop moves and PussyCat Dolls type of semi-Burlesque dance.

Meanwhile, the belly dancers will showcase their talents in using props such as veils and zills and precise drum solos. There will be Isis Wings and yours truly here will dance with Lilith the Scimitar. YAY!!!

So yeah. I'm excited.

And I want you to come. Seriously. Indulge your eyes, ears, and soul and open your mind to these two dances that so different, yet can move so harmoniously together, one after the other.

"The Dance Within" - the first annual recital of DanceWave Center Jakarta will be held on Saturday, November 21st, 2009 at Auditorium Radio Republik Indonesia (RRI) Jakarta, from 7 PM onwards (the show's around 80 minutes).

Tickets are already available. You can buy from me. Just contact me through my e-mail or cellphone at +62811939906. I'm selling two types of tickets: House (Stage-Level) Rp. 75,000 per person and Wing (Stage-Level) Rp. 65,000 per person.

Buy as soon as possible. We're selling like mad here.

what do they think of us?

Last week was one of the pinnacles of my dance career, dancing American Cabaret three nights in a row. It was supposed to be four nights, but the Samarra people cancelled the event. Needless to say, the experience was not only fun and exhausting (not the dance part, two of the venues were located so far away from home that getting there was challenging), it also brought my dance sisters and me closer together, what with the endless hours of waiting for our turn to dance and the late supper and juicy gossips afterwards.

It is ironic how some simple (and sinful) gossips can lead you to evaluating yourself. After the second performance night, I went back with my teacher and one of my dance sisters. I drove and we shared tips from other experiences, listened to good drum solo songs for future haflas, and talked about other troupes and classes.

My teacher gives courses in different places and teaches different levels. Some of her students have seen us in our Shimmering Shimmies hafla earlier this year. It surprised me to know that our group (since we don't have a proper troupe name) is called by my name & co. So instead of my teacher & gang, it's Yuska & gang. Despite the pride, I also feel a bit worried about the image. I mean, when alone and not dancing, I won't be bothered by it. But in dancing, I have a mission to educate people on what belly dance, and more specifically a guy doing belly dance, is all about.

I don't just shake my hips. I learn how to move in unison with the song. I learn props like veils, zills, and the scimitar and how to handle them properly (although I have failed lots of times due to the lack of practice). My teacher always strives to improve us, always checks the details. I have dance sisters who are so zealous about blocking and positions. One other sister always thinks meticulously about the costumes. Me, being a nerd, I'm always interested in sharing the details about the history of the dance.

Granted, no one can ever clearly define what makes a dance be called a belly dance. I mean, there's the costume for a start. Most dancers when they're not dancing a folkloric piece, use the two-piece bedleh with the optional body suit. Many dancers for whatever reasons (mostly aesthetical), prefer the one-piece costume. Some dancers prefer to wear pants, others skirts, others skirts on top of pants. Costume-wise, however, I think all belly dancers in general wear some kind of a belt or a scarf tied around the hips to accentuate the torso movements. Some wear coined hipscarfs while others wear fringed hipscarfs.

However, costume is not the only way to distinguish whether one is dancing Middle-Eastern Folkloric style, Egyptian style, Turkish style, Lebanese style, American Cabaret style, American Tribal style (ATS), Tribal Fusion style, or even belly dance at all. Read this one website that so aptly writes about costuming (and something with a TV repairman putting on scrubs and suddenly he's a heart surgeon. Wouldn't want to risk your life on it, would you?)

She seems to be forgetting her skirt. Or pants.
And I am so going to shoot whoever sewed the paillettes on her bra.
Sadly, this photo was taken at a party somewhere in Indonesia.
So I suspect that the Asian-looking girl is Indonesian. *sigh*

Obviously the girl in the picture above, although she's wearing beaded bra with sequines and a coined hipscarf, she is not doing the belly dance, because no belly dancer would ever be caught dead with no proper bottom garment. Nice tummy, though!

The next visible thing that can differentiate the belly dance with other styles of dancing is the extensive use of stomach muscles that may or may not include isolations. There is a school of thought that believes Egyptian style belly dance does not restrict itself to crazy isolations like Western dancers do. Think of Taheya Carioca vs. Sadie or Samiya Gamal vs. Ava Fleming. I have seen performances of ATS and they have smaller, more defined movements.

I think the isolation is the core reason why some Tribal Fusion style dancers look a lot like break dancers (Sera from Solstice comes to mind - just look at her end performance in the East Coast Bellydance DVD. It's more to break dance instead of belly dance. Dusty in Bellydance Superstar's Tribal Fusion DVD is also doing it. Still very cool, though, but it's not belly dance).

But if you're talking about Rachel Brice, now that's isolation. She's indeed very earthy and serpentine-like, even in her "bouncy" drum solos. Sometimes I prefer watching Sharon Kihara (that girl seriously has cool shimmies) to Rachel. And like Ms. Joe, my teacher in Japan said, Kami Liddle and Mardi Love are so going to shine new lights to Tribal Fusion scene. Kami is soooo gorgeous and I am so loving Mardi! Zoe Jakes has some crazy fast turns that I think I can never master. Then again, no one can beat Carolena Nericcio or Kajira Djoumahna (although I think Kajira's Mo' Rockin Hip Hop movement is a bit awkward).

Now let's put ATS and the offsprings (Tribal Fusion, Tribal Gothic, Gothic, etc) in a box and return to Oriental. Indeed, "Oriental" refers not only to the Eastern countries such as China and Japan, the origin of the word actually describes something that is not Western (European). And that includes the Middle East. In some cases, if you listen to Middle-Eastern music and compare it with Chinese music, especially those with strings (whether using instruments like the guitar, violin, or harp), you can hear striking similarities in the chords.

The biggest groups of the Oriental style belly dance are Egyptian style (that may include Egyptian Cabaret style), Turkish style, Lebanese style, Greek style, and American Cabaret style. If you are a big fan of Bellydance Superstars Live in Paris DVD like me, based on my (unfair) classification and other dancers' opinions, you'll notice that Jillina can be classified as having Egyptian and Egyptian Cabaret style. She also sometimes incorporates traditional dances such as the Khaleegy (Raks al Na'shar) in her drum solos.

Sonia's gracefulness and her movements that I consider as heavily influenced by ballet and jazz remind me so much of the era the bellydancers call the Golden Age of Belly Dance. That's when the great Lebanese dame Badia Masabni opened her Opera Casino in Cairo and recruited such dancers like Taheya, Samiya, and Fifi Abdo. Therefore I classify Sonia as an Egyptian style dancer (if only she would smile once in a while).

Amar Gamal, another incredible dancer with the best shimmies I've ever seen, probably falls into the category of Egyptian cabaret style dancer. Like Jillina, Amar Gamal also incorporates serious isolations, instead of more flowing movements like those of Sonia's. In her DVD "Mastering the Dance", Amar Gamal shows heavy influences from jazz.

From the very first time I watched the Bellydance Superstars DVD that features solo studio performances, I fell in love with Ansuya. I later realized that she dances American Cabaret style. I have the same attraction to dancers like Anaheed and Salome. They are not balletic, sometimes even rigid. But their movements are powerful and showy, with uninhibited (but still cool and coy) facial expressions. I'm a Leo and I love performing with a sense of pizzazz, so I'm more drawn into American Cabaret (AmCab, or also known as American Oriental). AmCab dancers, like ATS dancers, use zills extensively too.

That's Ansuya.
Oh, and did I mention that her drummer boyfriend, Ozzie, is a hottie?
Yeah. Talented AND lucky. Her mom is the Jenaeni Rathor,
one of the most famous Am-Cab dancers in the American circuit at that time.

I can go on and on about other styles of belly dance. Like Didem Kinali or the legendary Sema Yildiz for Turkish styles. Sema even puts lots of Turkish Rom dances in her performances, making it even more distinct and authentic. I especially love Sema's performance with the Turkish hottie Ozgen.

Ozgen. *shudders*. I think in this picture,
he's dancing the Turkish Rom style, not a typical Turkish bellydance.
He usually wears his chestless costume when performing the belly dance.

But let me just get back to the topic. When my teacher, my dance sister and I were gossipping, suddenly my dance sisters asked what they thought about Yuska & gang.

The first performance night was not so good. It was for a birthday party of a friend of a student of my teacher's. The crowd had no idea what belly dance was (or is). When we stepped into the venue and the dressing room, I saw a guy crossdressing in a two-piece bedleh. Apparently, he was the emcee for the evening. I had realized that it was going to be a nightmare. And I was right.

The crowd was okay, but it was the emcee who kept badgering us, giving us freaky and degenerating hoot calls. In the end of our performance, he went into the middle and did some disgusting sexual display. We left the dance floor, of course, cursing tongue-in-cheek. It was a test to our professionalism and we succeeded in putting our best faces forward. No frowns. It was just work.

However, it was really disappointing to know that some people still regard belly dance as a just a sexy dance. I am never going to say that belly dance is not sexy. Hell, I even think Wade Robson is sexy and he dances a different style of dance that I do. What's more saddening was the fact that there are people who force the notion that belly dance is supposed to be sexy in a vulgar way. Like the said emcee.

Wade Robson. Although too skinny for my taste, I still think he's hot.

Then we questioned ourselves, what do other belly dancers think of us? Do they know that we're dancing American Cabaret style? Do they dismiss us and saying we're the bad dancers and that their way of the world is the right one?

As for my teacher, my dance sisters, and myself, we always try to respect other belly dancers if they know what they are doing and what kind of dance they are performing. I've had Egyptian style teachers and although I enjoyed learning from them, I have made up my mind that Egyptian style is not the one I am going to do.

Whenever I substitute for my teacher to teach the very basic class of Am-Cab at her studio or cardio belly dance at the gym, at the end of the class, if there are any students or participants asking me about the dance, I always try to explain to them the many varities of the belly dance and that at the gym, it's just for cardio exercise, not really dancing. If they want to learn Am-Cab, go to my teacher in her studio. If they want to learn Egyptian style, go to another teacher.

The truth is, tolerance is needed, at least in the Jakarta / Indonesia belly dance scene. We hardly know each other, some of us compete by bad mouthing each other and stabbing the back of one another without realizing that we're creating our own little war.

My teacher and I have always dreamed about creating a hafla where all belly dance teachers and their students can perform without competition. After all, it is a hafla, not a belly dance championship.

One day, perhaps.

Oh, but not to worry. The other two performance were done well. The crowd was lovely and the pay was good. Not as good as the first one, though. It seemed as if the first one had bought our pride in exchange with a hefty sum of payment.

the male belly dancing scene

A few days ago I finally met Ms. Maria Aya, the belly dance teacher for the dance school "Oriental Expression" in Athina, Greece. In the first session, she watched me danced (I was so nervous and a little bit jet-lagged and so I was so stiff and forgot many of the moves). And after that, she introduced me to the world of belly dance, gave me so much information (I took note and I am writing something of an introduction about it. I'll publish it later in this blog) and later taught me some of the moves.

We watched some videos, including those of her dance partner, Prince Kayammer, an Egyptian dance choreographer and performer from Greece. He, who turns out to be quite a hottie, dances Egyptian dances, including the belly dance. What he showed were not only fabulous moves with difficult techniques, but also his sense of confidence, stage act, audience interaction, and fun improvisations.

Prince Kayammer of the Sultan of Raqs

Apparently, Prince Kayammer, like the Egyptian male belly dancer Tito, is famous and well accepted in the belly dance world. Prince Kayammer is also a member of Sultan of Raqs, an international male oriental dance troupe. Prince Kayammer and Tito both dance the male version of the belly dance (I'll tell you the history of male belly dance later), which have different movements (stronger and more masculine, of course) from the female dancers. In some of their videos, they either wear pants with cropped vests (to show their bellies), or a bedlah, a traditional dance wear that originated from the shepherd's dress, offering full coverage with a belt to accentuate the hip movements.

You know what I think? The honest to God's truth?

Okay.

They dance very well. I even gasped at their mastery of the techniques. But then again, they do it the men's way, with the stiffer wrist movements, the not-so-drastic hip circles, and the costume.

If it is the reason why their dance is more accepted, then maybe, like it or not, admit it or not, there is still some sort of gender discrimination, even in dancing. Women should act like women and men should act like men.

The problem is, I'm a man (so to speak, I'm 25 years old anyway) who is gay and feminine. And through belly dancing, I express my love and my passion in dancing and in swaying my hips. And not only that, I also express myself as a feminine gay man.

In Jakarta, Indonesia, sissies are common, although not really in demand for the relationship market. Female belly dancers are everywhere, but I know only two other male belly dancers (I've met them) and one of them exploits his femininity to dance the belly just for laughs. I know he can do the belly dance (he is one of the students in the previous dance school I went to), but he combines it with slapstick acts and really thick make-up. Et voila, there you have it, a drag queen who can belly dance.

The other one is only 17 years old, attended a one-week belly dance workshop in Dubai, does one hell of a backbend, but lacks what one calls a proper fashion sense. Okay, so I just said that out of respect of the dancer. But still, I don't think he's as feminine as I am.

And then, there was one time when our troupe was hired for the launch of a magazine. The magazine didn't want me to perform. After that, gigs poured in. One of them was for a health workshop for a sister brand of the first magazine. At the last minute, I was finally included to perform. I worked my ass off for it and thoroughly enjoyed every minute there (the workshop was for 35+ ladies and after the performance, each one of us - there were seven of us - went down from the stage to assist the participans - about 75 women - doing the routines).

You know what happened? When the magazine was out, there was this two full page, full colour article with our pictures, and apparently, since I was the one dancing in front, it was easier to crop me out of the photographs of us dancing up on the stage. The photo was taken from the side when we lined up to backbend. They cropped me out.

Words could never express how much I was devastated.

There was also this one dance centre in Jakarta that says that it is the first and only authentic dance centre of Egyptian belly dance. It rejected male belly dancers, although clearly mentioning in their website that there are great male belly dance teachers and the owner / head instructor of the dance teacher also had a male belly dance teacher once.

Goodness.

Well, I assume this fight will never stop. And that's why I created this blog, to chronicle the journey of a feminine, gay male belly dancer living thousands of miles away from Egypt, Turkey, and Greece.