Accepting Name Changes in the FatChanceBellydance Vocabulary

I'll be using deadnames in this post. You have been warned.

Post-Teaching Thoughts

Here's how the dance that taught me to improvise also taught me how to teach.

Two weeks ago, my friend, Mark Bissel of Seraphim Dance, asked me to sub for his class for one Saturday. I retired from teaching FCBD-style ATS nearly a decade ago after struggling to build a regular student base and eventually becoming disillusioned.

Mark is an accomplished dancer and a familiar face in the Southern California belly dance community, having performed throughout the region and organized the Renaissance Faire Middle East stage for years. So I wasn't surprised to see his classes thriving.

The class that I needed to sub was week three of Level 1. I'd attended the first two sessions and noticed regulars (five to six people). So, I'd expect the same regulars to come to the class I was subbing, and we could review the previous moves and add more fast steps and slow moves to vocabulary (we were supposed to learn Forward Back Shimmy with half and quarter turns, and Propeller, Corkscrew, and Reverse turns).

Lo and behold, only three people showed up. The first two were practically complete beginners in FatChanceBellyDance ATS, one of them actually stayed after the earlier Zumba class. The third one who came a bit late was a more experienced dancer who's been taking Mark's class regularly. 

I knew I wouldn't be able to review the previous steps and moves from the previous two classes. I'd overload the newcomers with information, and they wouldn't be able to actually just enjoy a dance class. 

I panicked. 

I'd done a run-through of the lesson plan the night before. I'd rehearsed it and felt good about it. 

But then I remembered: ATS is all about improv. Why shouldn't that include being flexible when it comes to teaching and rolling with the punches? 

I pulled from my experience teaching non-ATS bellydance classes at gyms, and I told myself I could do this. 

In the first 10 minutes, we focused on posture and slow moves that I consider essential: Taxeem, Floreo, and Arm Undulation. 

Posture (and dance angle) is important because this is the foundation of belly dance, and most importantly ATS. Having the correct ATS posture minimizes the risk of injury and reveals the secret of maximizing the range of movement (the softer your knees, the bigger your Taxeem and Bodywave). 

After the students were able to get the hang of Taxeem and Arm Undulation, we moved on to Bodywave. Bodywave is probably one of the best moves to introduce beginners to bellydance, while not alienating the more experienced dancers because it's always a good time to revisit the mechanics of Bodywave. Plus, it's the gateway to Rhythmic Undulation.

Now we have Taxeem, Floreo, Arm Undulation, Bodywave, and Rhythmic Undulation. 

And it's time to move on to shimmies.

Shimmies are a great way to get the body moving, and it's also one of the hardest fast steps to master. ATS shimmies are what Raqs Sharqi dancers call "three-quarter shimmies." We started slow and then built up the speed. Now we have the Basic Shimmy. 

Time to add the steps that would turn the Basic Shimmy into the Forward Back Shimmy.

After the Forward Back Shimmy drills (we even did the half turn and quarter turn variations), we still had fifteen minutes. And we decided to cool down with the Corkscrew Turn and Propeller Turn. 

And for the last drill, we were able to put everything together. 

Here's the Tl;dr takeaway: 

1. It's week three (or week four or whatever). None of your regulars shows up. Instead, you have drop-in beginners. Be flexible and tap into your ATS improv roots.
2. Teach them the essentials: posture, dance angle, Taxeem, Arm Undulation, Floreo, Bodywave, as well as easier fast steps that could be used as a transition (in this case, we used the Rhythmic Undulation and Basic Shimmy).
3. Depending on how receptive the students are, try to teach that week's lesson plan (we were supposed to learn Forward Back Shimmy, Corkscrew Turn, Propeller Turn, and Reverse Turn) without alienating drop-in beginners. Shimmies are excellent because we can build Rhythmic Undulation Shimmies and Forward Back Shimmies on top of the Basic Shimmies. It's always a crowd-pleaser because it gets the body moving and is challenging. 
4. Dancing a full song of follow-along ATS is completely feasible after the students know the week's lesson plan. Mix it with the transition fast steps they just learned (in this case Rhythmic Undulation and Basic Shimmy) to get out of the fast steps in the lesson plan (Forward Back Shimmy plus its variations). 

All in all, I was relieved that Mark's regulars didn't come. If they had been present, I'd be even more torn about alienating the two drop-in beginners and making their experience with me not so pleasant.

Did not seeing Mark's regulars retraumatize me and made me question my worth as a teacher? Of course! For a moment, I was back to sitting in my own empty class, week after week, month after month. But I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt: Maybe something came up and they weren't able to come. After all, LA is vast and it was a Saturday. 

At the end of the class, I told them Mark would come back in the next session and that I was only subbing. My two drop-ins both said they wished I would teach because they enjoyed the class. 

It was an amazing thing: being complimented after a long dry spell.

But I don't think I want to come out of full retirement from teaching just yet.

Join Mark's classes on Saturdays at 12 noon (10642, Lower Azusa Rd, Temple City, CA 91780; the Google Street View was taken in 2017, it's the one that says "Qin Mobile Device Repair").

Mark also teaches on Tuesday evenings at the LA Bellydance Academy in North Hollywood.

Twelve Years

It has been twelve years since I last posted to this blog. A lot of things have happened: Tribal Fest dissolution, Covid-19, and FatChanceBellyDance no longer having a physical presence in its birthplace of San Francisco.

I had a blog post draft in 2017 entitled "Four-Year Itch," where I wanted to write about how I wanted to take a soft retirement from ATS. I was disillusioned by the ATS dance scene in Los Angeles. My inability to find students was a large contribution, as well as a disastrous sword performance. 

Los Angeles is a city of hustlers, and I don't hustle enough or have the knack to hustle. 

Still, it hurt me when a studio asked someone else to teach ATS, even if I had teacher certification and they didn't. Even if I lived five minutes away from the studio and that person didn't. Even if the studio owner knew me. 

Still, I took the classes because I enjoyed dancing ATS. 

Fast forward to 2026, and I'm a student again. I want to say I don't think I'll ever be a good enough teacher, or at least have enough students. And I've made peace with the idea of always being the bridesmaid and never a bride. 

American Tribal Style bellydance is still big in parts of the US and parts of the world. It's never going to be as big as other forms of dance, including its big siblings, raqs sharqi and tribal fusion, and I've made peace with it too. 

Being a student has its own advantages. You wouldn't need to contend with the anxiety of rejection or having to cover studio fees because nobody showed up to class. This acceptance came with age as well. 

If you're looking for American Tribal Style classes in San Francisco, my good friend Yuka Sakata still teaches pure FatChanceBellyDance ATS every Saturday and every other Tuesday. Go to her website here. 

If you're looking for American Stribal Style classes in Los Angeles, Mark Bissell teaches FCBD ATS in East LA. 

sarasvati jewelry & adornments and new ats® belly dance classes in los angeles

It never occurred to me that I’d be making jewelry AND selling it. I always make my own necklaces and wear them myself, but I think it’s time for me to start selling them.

So it’s with great honor that I give you Sarasvati Jewelry & Adornments.

I’m also teaching American Tribal Style® belly dance level 1 classes on Saturdays at 2-3 pm (starting August 16) and Thursdays at 6-7 pm (starting August 21) at Live Arts Los Angeles.

Please refer to this flier for more information, or click here to download the PDF flier.

street fairs

One thing that I like about dancing in the US is that we get to do street fairs. In Indonesia (well, I don't know about Bali), bellydancers are typically not that well-regarded. And people who go to street fairs here are generally laid back. Blue Diamonds Belly Dance, student troupe of FatChanceBellyDance® has been doing lots of street fair gigs lately, and I danced in two of them in my 'hood (Rockridge and Berkeley).

Here are some tips.

Sometimes you'll be dancing on asphalt. So wear appropriate footwear. I was tempted to wear my Asics running shoes, but the soles are too grabby, and since I don't wear skirts, my footwear shows (especially when I'm spinning), so in my opinion, sneakers kind of ruin the aesthetics.  I used to have a pair of gold gladiator sandals, but they were so cheap and not made for dancing that they broke apart after six performances. Then I bought another pair of gladiator sandals, but they made my ankles bleed. And one time, one of them came off mid-performance, and it was really stupid.

Then I found these awesome knee-high boots on eBay. These are vegan boots by Breckelles. At first I thought they were so slippery, and I don't like the way they clack clack clack when I'm walking, but turns out, the soles are not grabby, and they're perfect for dancing on pavements and asphalts.

Then there's also the issue of dancing in sunlight. Our performance time for both fairs was at 1 PM. So yeah: the sun is relatively right above you, which is kind of good since you don't have to turn and spin and bam! the sun is right in front and blinding. But that also means that you'll get tired more easily (what with the headwraps / turban / head gear, and squinting is really exhausting), so don't wear too much jewelry like I did at Berkeley Sunday Streets. Seriously, I almost could not keep my elbows up in the final song of the first set (we danced to two sets). I got home and out of curiosity, I weighed my bracelets that I wore to the Berkeley gig, and I realized I was wearing 2.7 pounds of jewelry on my arms. Yikes. But it's a good work-out for your shoulders, back, and delts. 

Now about squinting, and this is probably just the shape of my eyes, I really don't like the way my eyes sort of disappear in action shots. So you may want to consider eye make-up that makes your eyes look big even as you squint (is that even possible?). And no, I'm not talking about this: 

Finally, cover-ups. With a shining sun and a typical Bay Area breeze, I'd recommend wearing assuit / tulle-bi-telli. The cool metal keeps your body temperature low. But if it's too cold, then use something else. 

Oh, ignore her. That's just Kate Moss.

lilith's bali debut

Years ago, when I first met Lilith, I had big dreams.

And so, here it is. Sorry for the quality of the video, though. Haha.

In case you're wondering, the first song is by contemporary Balinese musician, Ayu Laksmi. The title of the song is Maha Asa (Big Dream). I've been using it for ATS® Puja.

just like a woman

It is a well-known fact that movies that at least try to portray belly dance in a fair way are not that many. In fact, I can only name one that I know of. Then there's Just Like a Woman (SPOILER AHEAD). 

This movie came out in 2013, directed by Rachid Bouchareb. It's about two acquaintances, Marilyn (Sienna Miller) and Mona (Golsfhiteh Farahani) who are forced by circumstances to get on a road trip from Chicago to Santa Fe in Marilyn's car. Marilyn goes to Santa Fe to audition for a belly dance company (as recommended by her belly dance instructor, Peter). She's hesitant at first, but then she's fired from her job and comes home to catch her deadbeat husband cheating on her with a pizza delivery girl.

Mona, on the other hand, is an immigrant, and a wife of a very loving husband (Mourad, played by the ruggedly handsome Roschdy Zem) and an overbearing mother-in-law (Chafia Boudraa) who demands to have a grandchild and accuses Mona of being infertile. One night, Mona spills her mother-in-law's pills and yet serves them to her anyway. The mother-in-law dies in the morning, and Mona, overcome with guilt, runs away. She has no idea where to go, but kismet brings her bus exactly where Marilyn is parking her car. The two meet, and Marilyn decides to take Mona with her.

Marilyn (foreground) and Mona (background) dancing at their first gig. 

Peter (Marilyn's instructor) gives several recommendations for restaurants Marilyn can dance at. Her first gig actually needs two women (how lucky!). Mona, being a Middle-Easterner, is (supposedly) a natural belly dancer, so Marilyn asks Mona to accompany her dancing at restaurants (one of them looks like a really seedy bar).

Mona belly dancing to flirt with her husband in their convenience store as Marilyn watches in the back.

The first song they danced to is Hisham Abbas' Nari Narayn and they seem to be just wiggling around. They get paid and the tip money is good, and they think everything is fine and dandy until the Arab patron comes to their rooms (apparently they stay at his place) and demands to sleep with Mona. Marilyn answers for Mona and says she's not interested, then the patron asks to sleep with Marilyn, who, of course, refuses. The patron gets angry and Marilyn decides that Mona and she has to leave. One thing, though, the patron says his clients do not like blonde dancing girls, so from then on, Marilyn wears a wig (this wig later becomes important because near the end of the movie when Marilyn gets physically abused by two rednecks and unable to audition, Mona takes her place and disguises as Mona, wears her wig, and is accepted into the dance company).

Marilyn dancing at a bar for their second gig. 

In the mean time, Marilyn's deadbeat husband wants her back (I don't think he knows that she doesn't have a job anymore) and Mona's loving husband wants her back too (with two police officers who start off sounding important and adding tension to the movie but somehow just fade in the background).

In the middle of their journey, Marilyn learns that Mona is on the wanted list and she confronts Mona. Mona tells her what happened and Marilyn abandons her at a gas station in the middle of nowhere America, and Mona, not knowing where she is (she's not American, she's never been outside of Chicago, the only path she knows is to get from her house to the store that her husband runs) just stays put in desperation. Marilyn then changes her mind and comes back to get Mona.

I don't know where to start. Some of the costumes just look cheap (but then again, Marilyn is trying to be a professional dancer, so that explains the cheap-looking costumes). Then the very typical music choices... But let's begin.

Mona auditioning as Marilyn.

There's no sense of progress in the story. The music and the dancing skills don't progress. Mona shows Samia Gamal to Marilyn, but I don't think that inspires Marilyn. At one point, Mona tells Marilyn to use another song (thank God) and to dance with abandon (YES!) but nothing comes of it. I was hoping that Mona shows Marilyn a thing or two about dancing, about music, about being in touch with the dance itself (so many Middle-Easterners pride themselves for being able to dance to Middle-Eastern songs because those are their songs and so they can be really in touch with their dance because everything flows naturally while non-Middle-Easterners struggle to achieve this kind of flow, this kind of tarab that is discussed in Whatever Lola Wants). Mona doesn't even smile when she auditions and yet she gets the part.

There's no tension when there should be lots of tensions. You have an immigrant (and not just an immigrant, but from the Middle-East, forpetessake, in the USA!), you have the stereotypical Arab people who always blame and degrade women, you have a loving husband desperately searching for his missing wife (who later says she doesn't want him back because she thinks he's failed to stand up for her), you have two cops (one of them is perhaps a racist bastard) whose roles just disappear.

Angles and editing. You know, I have no idea why this movie is rated R. You can hardly even see the dance. The story itself begins way too slow.

The ending. Which is so anticlimactic.

The dance. The dance itself is just meh, most likely because we don't really see what's happening. Then there's also no progression. Actually it gets worse (from an Arab restaurant to a seedy bar? Or is the movie trying to show what the belly dance scene in the USA is really like? Which, if it's true, then it's another missed opportunity).

There are good moments in Just Like a Woman, though. When Mona is left in that gas station and she takes off her coat and stands there while still in a belly dance costume, now that's desperation. The wide shots really inform the audience that she is in the middle of nowhere. Then there's tender moment between Mona and her husband as she flirts with him in the store. Then Samia Gamal. Then Natacha Atlas' Adam's Lullaby (although really, Natacha Atlas? It's been used). The male belly dance instructor (yes!). The fact that there are women of all shapes and sizes and some are even tattooed in his class (YEAH!). Although, both the male belly dance instructor and the other-sized women don't really have a role in this movie.

Well, I'll just leave you with this image. Here's Mona's husband doing something I don't know what, unfortunately not from Just Like a Woman (ya think?). 

hot and bothered

Let me say this up front: I am a very sexual person. The only fetishes I'm not interested in are scat and permanent scarring. Oh, and leather, since I'm vegan. And I cannot stand the smell.

For decades, belly dancers have been trying to fight the stigma of belly dance being a sexy dance, and by that I mean dance of seduction, this is especially true in a muslim-dominated country like Indonesia. Three years ago, my troupe mates from the velvetRAQS were set to perform a belly dance show for an outdoor festival in the Monas area. Then the Jakarta governor at that time, that asshole jerk corrupt Fauzi Bowo (who went to the same all-male Catholic high school that I did which made me think he was different but turned out he wasn't) came and specifically ordered the belly dance show be removed or else he would not want to attend the event (he was the guest of honor). My troupe got paid in full anyway, but still.

I don't do Salsa, but from what I know, Salsa nights are more common than belly dance nights, and people here are very enthusiastic about the dance. I've seen how touchy-feely Salsa is and the ladies usually wear really short skirts (with great respect to Salsa dancers, I love what you're doing, but I don't understand how Salsa can get more respect than belly dance. Maybe it's the name?). This also goes to Tango.

One of my teachers at FatChanceBellyDance®, Ms. Sandi Ball, also does Polynesian dance. One time, she posted a photo of her teacher and his troupe dancing on stage. And all I could see were his body. I mean, I've seen videos of male Hula performers and I have to stay, they got me hot and bothered, awkay? Here, have a looksee.

Seriously, if you're a straight woman or a gay man, how can you not? Unless of course they're not your type. But bloody hell. Picture taken from this page.

Here's the thing: I am guilty of making lewd comments about those hunks, and for that, I am sorry. Okay, so maybe "lewd" is not the correct word to describe what I wrote (it was more along the lines of exclamations like "yummy" or "hot" and I kept the nasty thoughts to my own nasty self), but it is not the dancer's fault if the audience member's member gives him a standing ovation (I can't believe I just wrote that).

Last year, when I performed in Bali, I had an audience member (an Arab male) asking me for a photo. I obliged. Then for the second photo, he asked me to sit on his lap. I declined. I told him that he could look but he couldn't touch. He backed off.

I danced Oriental and from time to time I dance Tribal Fusion, and I know that there are songs that require our faces to be flirty and playful, and they are translated by the audience as seductive (and our costumes are also less covered than ATS®). It is up to us as dancers to let the audience know that they can look (and take photos) and talk to us, but nothing more than that. I had a long discussion with my male American friend  about that incident with Beyonce, and I said that she was an entertainer and although she wore a body-hugging suit and danced the way she did, it didn't mean that the guy could touch her in any way at all.

Male belly dancers have been present throughout the ages. We hear names like the late John Compton to Tito Seif to Mohamed Shahin, then there are Zadiel and Eliran Amar. Here's one of Eliran's very popular videos.

It is his right to wear those skimpy panels. It is his right to show off his yummy bod. However, to be honest, it could've been covered just a teensy bit more. I was hoping to be flashed. When that didn't happen, I was both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because no wardrobe malfunction occurred. Disappointed because, well, I'm a perv. This is where costume choice comes into the equation. In the video, his facial expression is far from seductive, but yours truly here still fans himself whenever he sees this clip.

My point is, there are things we can do to control how we want the audience (and the world) to perceive what belly dance is, and those things include pre and post performance attitude, costume choice, and make-up, and to some extent our facial expression (which is essentially related to the song we dance to). Yet it is alright (and expected) to be angry whenever an audience member "cracks" a slut "joke" and becomes touchy-feely.

There's a huge difference between thinking lewd thoughts and actually doing them. There's also a huge difference between doing those lewd things with consent and doing them without consent.

Fact of the matter is, there are still people who don't know the difference. I guess I'm a polite perv, or I have good self-restraint.

There are belly dancers who try their best to fight this slutty dance label and at the same time there are those who get bashed on this hilarious Tumblr. These people have helped perpetuate said label. Perhaps unknown to them. Hopefully unknown to them. (Addendum: okay, so perhaps that Tumblr isn't hilarious and the writer gets defensive from time to time, and thinks s/he knows what belly dance is or not, but who am I to say what is or isn't belly dance?).

Back to Salsa and Tango. Maybe they get more recognition (and by recognition I mean serious dance movies like Take the Lead and Scent of a Woman, the former has this really seductive dance scene). See how the female dancer has that "look but don't touch" attitude and that air of aloofness? That's what I mean.

I don't know. I'm blabbering all over the place. I guess I'm just jealous of the recognition that other dance forms have received and enjoyed in the mainstream media while belly dance is still stuck in being hoochie-koochie and cheap. I mean, come on. Even Twerking gets more respect.

an artist's attitude

My admiration for Zoe Jakes is apparent. I adore her spins, her pops and locks, her make-up, her jewelry, her energy. She is a skilled dancer and theatrical performer.

In my previous post, I've written about how I felt elated when she said that a piece of jewelry she wore was Javanese. That particular blog post is about cultural appropriation and what I think about it. Then yesterday, I saw this video.

I am not an authority on Balinese dance (or any traditional Indonesian dance), but I've seen enough Balinese dance performances to notice there's something that doesn't sit well with me.

Let me tell you, I am not offended by this performance, and to be honest, I think this is one of the ways to promote Indonesian dance. I mean, Colleena Shakti has consistently done this with traditional Indian dance and I know that Odissi is gaining popularity what with Sonia Ochoa, Moria Chappell, and one of my dear friends Allison Mulroy going to Ms. Shakti's school in Pushkar, India to learn Odissi. Traditional Indonesian dance is a dying art form. As an Indonesian, I can't help but feel somewhat guilty about this, because I am not interested in learning any traditional Indonesian dance (largely because most of these dances require discipline and hard work and they have really intricate footwork and arm work, and I'm just too stupid. I quit Kathak after only four sessions).

I know there are Balinese dancers or those who are well-versed in this dance form who will probably be offended, so I think it's only fair to mention that Zoe Jakes and Marci Ann have been studying with Gamelan Sekar Jaya (I don't know for how long). (Addendum: click here for further explanation from the person who helped Zoe choreographed this piece.)

Now back to my gut feeling: I don't mind the headdress and the costume (I don't know if there's a religious significance attached to them), but some movements don't gel with the gamelan music. For example, the "Floorwork Body Dive" at 1:14 to 1:26; The pop, lock, and little drops that Zoe does at 1:44 to 1:49 and the chest shimmies at 1:42. I don't know whether or not these movements are in the Balinese dance vocabulary, but they somehow don't look right.

I am not trying to be diplomatic nor kiss ass, and maybe I'm just insensitive and have the tendency to sell-out, but I don't feel that my culture is being appropriated by this performance. It intrigues me and makes me feel uncomfortable, but not offended.

One of my closest ATS® dance friends and I had a discussion about this video performance, and we both agreed on one thing: the artist attitude. When I was an undergrad working on my degree in advertising, I had a professor in Copywriting class who kept telling us that we were not artists, that we still had to keep in mind how the audience (or the client) would perceive our work. I think that keeps me in check with my own approach in trying to create a choreography. For some people, this may mean less freedom, but it also may also mean giving value to (and therefore respecting) the audience. The thing is, I don't know if people (who have authority on an art form or a religion or a culture) will criticize an artist's performance simply because of the artist (diva worship). Not criticizing the artist, not presenting the artist with an opposing view point (not necessarily negative), is actually bad for the artist's growth.

I like to equate this to a bad red carpet dress choice. Many celebrities have had their hits and misses. Many celebrities have had their phases of bad dresses. Some have survived and become fashion icons, some are still trapped in that phase. They might have survived because they listen to those who shook their head and said, "Honey, don't." They might have survived because they saw their pictures and shook their head and said, "I can't believe none of my friends told me, 'Honey, don't'!" But here's a counter argument: who's to say what's garish and what isn't? Who's to say what works and what doesn't? I don't like too skimpy and transparent clothes on the red carpet, but some people may call me prude.

Paige Lawrence, the director of the Uru Tribe, wrote a very poignant Note on his Facebook page. It's a reflection of the Uru Tribe's journey to Tribal Fest 13, and how he feels about his own performance. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy, and sometimes it's a good thing, because it may mean we are constantly trying to evolve, to grow, to challenge ourselves, to come out of our comfort zone. I still cringe (A LOT) whenever I see videos of myself performing.

Here's hoping that people won't see Zoe Jakes and Marci Ann's performance at Tribal Fest 13 as a true and authentic representation of Balinese dance. I know the introduction says "inspired", but we all know things can get lost and murky in translation.

so long, dear friend

I first saw you in Anita's Dance Conditioning class in early 2011. You had white pants with red and yellow fire and a black shirt with wings. You were always so cool and charming and you danced with a smile.

My first gig at Tannourine, in October 2011, and you danced with us. You were the one who gathered us to do Puja.

Blue Diamonds Belly Dance (Tannourine Restaurant, October 2011)

I will never forget the gig at Club OMG. It was Halloween 2012. We had fun, didn't we? The gig came from you and you said you thought about me when you talked to the owner about us for Halloween. Well, it is a gay club, so that made sense. That evening, someone committed suicide on the tracks at Embarcadero BART station and my train stopped at MacArthur for at least an hour. But it was one of the best gigs ever. Two Indian-flavored sets. You chose the songs. You sent me a text message asking if I got home safely that night. I still have the drink coupon that the club owner gave us.

Then Devotion Kickstarter party came. That morning, you had a performance at Rakkasah. It was a back-to-back thing, and you came late as we were discussing our set. I told a friend that I thought you were being unprofessional, but we were all high-strung. I didn't say it to your face, though. Yeah, I stab people from behind. 

You were late, I am not Mr. Goody Two-Shoes, and they can only mean one thing: we're humans. A life-form. And death is inevitable for all life-forms. Only yours was too quick. Unexpectedly so. 

Stasi, you were there at Tribal Fest 13. This was Saturday, May 18, 2013. I saw you in the left wing. I greeted you. We hugged. Then you moved to the center seats with Laura, Sandi, and me. You sat with us. You laughed with us. You applauded our dance sisters, the Blue Diamonds Belly Dance, as they performed on stage, their devotion and hard work shone through their smiles and confidence. You zaghareeted with us. 

And then you were gone.

The Blue Diamonds ladies said you were there in the green room, wishing everyone good luck. As e-mails after e-mails poured in, everyone agreed: you were charming, you were bitingly funny, you had that sarcasm that I greatly enjoyed, you could let things slide off your back with ease, but you were also human. 

Now you are more than that. Now you are boundless, limitless, and I shall carry your energy, your strength, your smile, your courage, and your presence in my Puja, in my posture, in my dance. 

Rest in peace, my dear friend. 

Anastasia Martin (8 October 19XX - 20 May 2013)

Second photo by Shelly Swanegan Hamalian. 

Addendum: Some of the FatChanceBellyDance® students built a little shrine for Stasi, with flowers that flank her photo. Until we meet again, Stasi.

new(ish) notes on teaching

Last December, Tribal Babes Indonesia hosted the second annual Tribal Bellydance & Fusion Festival where I gave a three hour workshop called ATS® Sampler Platter.

To be honest, creating a workshop is so much like editing: it's really, really hard. Workshop is about picking and choosing things, what will work, what won't, what will bore the shimmies out of the participants, what will match the overall level of the dancers, but most definitely, what you want your participants to take away from your workshop.

Teaching ATS® is something new to me. During my time in the US, I've only been a student, and I enjoy doing that. I enjoy having that somewhat carefree attitude: I'm here to learn, and not to teach. I mean, I do have the responsibility to improve my skills (which include not only my posture and techniques, but also musicality and how I interact with other dancers on and off the stage - to some degree).

Here's the thing, ATS® is also something new, if not foreign, in Indonesia. The Indonesian belly dance scene is still heavily saturated with Cabaret / Oriental, which I also love, but perhaps will no longer be performing, except perhaps for Fusion. Tribal Fusion is also trending right now, but some dancers are not exposed to what "Tribal" really is. The whole concept, and that is the leading and following concept, is something unheard of. However, leading and following is the very essence of ATS® and I want to get that point across.

I talked over the phone with Ms. Nericcio during the week when she was teaching in Michigan. I told her the dilemma I was facing: I would like to keep it interesting and challenging (because somehow I'd thought that the mentality of the Indonesian dancers was to gain the most in terms of quantity and repeating and drilling the same moves over and over again would bore them to death) while teaching them what "Tribal" stands for in American Tribal Style® (and its offshoot - Tribal Fusion).

Here's the gist of what she said: keep things simple.

I told her that the Sampler Platter class was designed to have three sessions. The first one focuses on Slow Moves (first and foremost the Puja, then posture, arm placement, Floreos, Arm Undulation, Taxeem, Bodywave, and probably throw in some fancier stuff like Reverse Turn or Corkscrew Turn depending on how fast the participants could absorb the more basic moves). The second one is all about Fast Steps (Egyptian, Arabic, Pivot Bump, Shimmy, and Turkish Shimmy). The third one can either be a review of all the Fast Steps and Slow moves or a Shimmy drill (which I love).

At Mihrimah's workshop two years ago, she did a very cool thing where we would form a chorus, and one by one, we would come in from the left, move to the center, lead the whole chorus for a couple of eight counts, then fade to the right so the next person could take over. That was really fun and inspiring and I tweaked it a bit to match the ATS® concept.

At the end of each session, I would pair two dancers in a duet and have them dance together for one song, to review the moves on their own (they wouldn't need to worry if they made mistakes - I told them to be confident and that they was to always follow the leader), then the participants would form a chorus, and each duet would dance as featured dancers for a while.

This seemed to work at my last workshop. I mean, obviously I couldn't get the participants to have the perfect posture and techniques (heck, even I am still learning), but I managed to get the Tribal point across.

Ms. Nericcio's advice was this: get people excited. This was particularly true. I remembered how the lifted elbow posture was especially excruciating but the participants seemed to enjoy it, part of it was because they felt challenged. Once people are hooked, they will become curious and want to learn more.

However, there are also those who just want to get introduced to ATS® and see if it's really for them or not. This is fair game. I had a lady who asked me in my workshop, why we only did Pivot Bump on the right hip. She said that it would not train the muscles on the left hip. Carolena's advice for this one was to let them know that using the left hip does not complement the ATS® aesthetics and concept (leader on the front left). Also, bumping with the right hip doesn't mean that we're not exercising the left hip. Both right and left obliques are being used. Based in my experience, my Pivot Bump gets bigger if I also engage my left oblique muscles every time I release my right hip. I hope this makes sense.

One thing for sure, though: Puja is an essential aspect of ATS®. It helps ground the dancers and remind us of our roots. This is why I always start each session and end the third and final one with a Puja.

I can't wait to go back again to Jakarta and share the beauty of American Tribal Style®.

some things happened

There have been times when I felt I was the luckiest boy on Earth. As socially awkward as I am, I know a thing or two about American Tribal Style® belly dance, and that's about it.

Lucky for me, I have the opportunity to stay in the East Bay and take classes at the FatChanceBellyDance® studio. I get to dance with the student troupe, Blue Diamonds Belly Dance, and last February, I had the honor to perform with some members of Blue Diamonds along with two of my teachers, Wendy Allen and Kae Montgomery, at Tannourine. 

Photo by Yuka Sakata

Then of course there was the Devotion Kickstarter Party at Bissap Baobab Village last month. I just had to dance at this event because I won't be able to make it to this year's Devotion Show. Dancewave Center collaborates with Gedung Kesenian Jakarta for Jakarta's Anniversary Festival on June 15, 2013. More on this later. 

In orange choli is Larissa Archer, yes, she's the daughter of The Masha Archer

But the real treat was this year's Cues & Tattoos. 

You see, some of the Blue Diamonds girls thought that it would be sweet to dance at Cues & Tattoos as some sort of a farewell for me (I thought I was going to leave the USA for good somewhere in mid 2013, but that won't happen because I'm staying at least for another year to get a dual degree in nonfiction. Yes). 

So there you have it: Taksu Tribal. "Taksu" is a Balinese word which means "good energy" or "spirit". I'm going to leave the video right here so you can see for yourself if we have Taksu.

Addendum: Just to rub it in, here's what Ms. Nericcio wrote about Taksu Tribal. 

Proud, happy faces post dancing, posing with Ms. Carolena Nericcio!

But wait, there's more. 

So I told Rob / Valizan that I was going to go to Cues & Tattoos. He rounded up two other boys who were based in Seattle (Russ Martin & Rich Williams). I've met and danced with Russ at the FCBD® studio when he was taking General Skills & Teacher Trainings. He has killer Layback. I'm friends with Valizan and Rich on the Internet but never actually danced with them before. But you know, it's ATS®. It only took about two hours of getting used to dancing with each other and BAM! Sons of Trimurti was on the stage. 

Katherine Erickson (owner of the fabulous Silk Road Tribal) said that when Sons of Trimurti danced on stage, the shopping stopped. The only time she'd seen that was during Suhaila Salimpour's troupe performance. 

I'm still waiting for a video, but for now, here are some of the photos of Sons of Trimurti. (Purple: Rich Williams; Gold: Rob Galbraith / Valizan; Turquoise: Russ Martin)

Photos by LJ Brackenbury

Photo by David of CheekyMonkeyCaravan

Addendum: The video cometh! Courtesy of Laurie LA Tribal.

Seattle was uncharacteristically sunny and warm. So here's a photo of Kitty, my faithful companion for more than two decades, in front of the Space Needle. 

There will be a review of the festival as well as some pictures from the Instructor's Showcase very soon!

I'm going to end this entry by quoting a line from Bridget Jones's Diary: 

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.

And of course vice versa.

Yes, I know: I'm a very, very lucky boy indeed.

taking care of silver

Just recently, I was lucky enough to come into possession of an antique Rajasthan style waist belt. It's exactly the size I'd wanted, and the price was not ridiculous (when I say "ridiculous", I mean out of my reach - I know how expensive silver can be, but I also know what "overpriced" means). So I made a few some many sacrifices and purchased it.

When I finally received it, I was a bit disappointed and alarmed. It didn't look as silver as it was in the pictures. It looked yellowish, almost bronze-like. I thought I'd been duped. I could return it within seven days, but I decided to clean it, and some other silver jewelry, with baking soda and aluminum foil. The water residue of the belt was so ghastly and murky, but it was not enough. The belt still looked bronze and I was still worried.

But I was determined to clean it. And so after consulting The Great Interwebz, I ordered this polishing cloth. It came in the mail this morning and I just finished cleaning my belt.

Here are the photos.

The waist belt. 

The yellowy tarnish on the clasp was still there even after the baking soda and aluminum foil cleaning. 

Some rub using the polish cloth, and hello clean old silver. 

I'm comparing my contemporary Indian sterling silver bracelet with the antique waist belt, still uncleaned.

The bracelet, compared with the back of the belt's clasps that has been rubbed with the polish cloth. 

A comparison of the bracelet, a part of the belt's been cleaned, and the part that hasn't.

And after 100 minutes of rubbing and scrubbing and buffing (I was watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King while doing this), look, look, look: it's silver. It's shiny, shiny silver. 

The belt and the dirty, dirty polishing cloth. 

Now it's time to store it so it won't tarnish in a short while. I bought these little zip lock bags. 

And anti-tarnish paper tabs. These work like silica gel. 

And they're all protected inside the zip lock bags. I place the jewelry that I wear often in a separate bag. 

Also, as a double (or is it triple?) protection, I place them inside this bag that's made of cloth that has R-22 to prevent tarnish. 

One last note, I also ordered  3M Tarni-Shield polish, but it will arrive next Monday and I just couldn't wait to clean the belt. There are still some deep parts that need cleaning and the crevices too deep to reach. I'll clean it again using the Tarni-Shield and old tooth brush. Perhaps it's wiser to clean it first using the Tarni-Shield (or whatever chemical polish) - if your jewelry piece has tarnished too much, so that it will make the job of rubbing and buffing a lot easier. 

All of these might seem excessive and too much, but consider this: you've spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars collecting silver or gold jewelry. I always see precious metals and stones as investments - their value most likely increases over time, so why not take good care of them? God forbid one day we have to part with them, but if the time comes, and they've been well taken care of, then they will sell for a price as beautiful as the jewelry themselves. 

Make time to clean your jewelry, at least wipe the sweat and oil off your accessories when you take them off and store them in the anti-tarnish bag or storage. 

Addendum: The Tarni-Shield has arrived and I used it to clean the belt with an old tooth brush to reach for the deep parts. It worked just fine, although I prefer cleaning my silver jewelry using polishing cloth.

The lower buckle was cleaned using Tarni-Shield and tooth brush and the upper buckle wasn't.

Also, I'm now going to wrap my silver pieces individually in acid-free white tissue paper and then store them in the zip lock bags and R-22 bags.

I'll do the same to my Assuits and I'll share how that turn out later. 

notes on performing ATS® solo

So, obviously I have tons of homework to be done (and I haven't updated my Pink in California blog for a long time now), but I just can't find the motivation to do so.

Although I like to multitask, I feel that I can do better if I work on one thing first (the one on the top of the priority list and work myself down - well, most of the time) and dedicate my time to it. And this blog entry has been waiting quite a while.

The thing is, whenever I'm back in Jakarta for end of semester vacation, I don't really have anyone to perform ATS® with, so I have to do a solo. At the end of every solo performance, though, I've always become sad because well, American Tribal Style® is never meant as a solo piece. No one told me this, but I used to believe the only person allowed to do ATS® solo is Ms. Carolena Nericcio. But then from time to time, I saw videos of FatChanceBellyDance® troupe members soloing when there're just two or three of them dancing together for a set.

Still, as much as I love performing, for me, ATS® solo was not something I looked forward to. It just didn't feel right.

That's why I'll always remember one recent Saturday when she said in class that even when we were dancing solo, we weren't dancing alone. We have the chance to engage the audience, to dance with them, to invite them in, to include them in our dance. And this can be done through our face and body angle. Always smile and not only with the lips, but also the eyes. Don't squint but slightly open your eyes and let your eyes smile too.

This was a great light bulb moment for me. And I hope this makes sense to you too.

I mean, yeah, I've heard of the concept of engaging the audience when dancing in a group - always maintain eye contact and smile and such, but this kind of falls into the wayside whenever I'm soloing. I didn't think of "dancing" with the audience. I always thought about dancing for the audience.

Speaking about engaging the audience, Sensei Kae also stressed how important it was to always engage the audience whenever we're dancing, even in a Dueling Duet formation when it's easy to be too engrossed in whoever's leading. We can do this by making eye contact whenever we pivot or do a Move or Step that faces the audience.

There's another important note. I've always thought the Arm Undulation (whether layered with Taxeem or not) and Body Wave were beautiful movements, but away from the stage, they could be really subtle, too subtle for a dramatic impact. Ms. Nericcio pointed this out yesterday. Dramatic slow songs (Stamena, Aicha, Arawan) instantly beg for level drops, turns, and laybacks, but that doesn't mean we can't do many of these when dancing to other types of slow songs. Use Arm Undulation (with or without Taxeem) and Body Wave for fillers, for transitions, for moments for the audience to breathe and clean the audience's palate, so to speak. And when you're doing these subtle movements, our body needs to be really articulate, and this means two things: clean technique and the knowledge of all the mechanics of the movements.

Then I remembered that one time I saw a video of my performance and thought how boring my Arm Undulation was, no matter how much I enjoyed performing it and thinking how good it must've looked. Haha.

I'm just going to close this blog entry with this awesome video (I think I put it on the blog one time, but it's just so good).

where i stand on this cultural appropriation thing

First of all, let's just make it clear of what I mean with "cultural appropriation".

noun /əˌprōprēˈāSHən/ 
appropriations, plural

1. The action of taking something for one's own use, typically without the owner's permission; the appropriation of parish funds
2. The artistic practice or technique of reworking images from well-known paintings, photographs, etc., in one's own work
3. A sum of money or total of assets devoted to a special purpose

These definitions are from Google Dictionary. For this case, let's discard the third definition and add the word "cultural" in front of it, thus making the meanings of "cultural appropriation" something like this: 

1. The action of taking someone's culture or subculture, typically without asking for permission from those who are culturally or subculturally related or understand said culture or subculture. 
2. The artistic practice or technique of reworking art (including but not limited to: dance and movement composition, literary composition, musical composition, visual composition like painting - mixed media - jewelry design - graphic design - tattoo - pottery - sculpture) in one's own work. 

For the first definition, many have also added that those who culturally appropriate belong to the dominant cultures (typically the Caucasian), but sometimes, I don't think that's the case. 

The thing is, during my free time, I don't go out and take long walks or run or enjoy the great outdoors. I'm not an outdoors person. The sun ruins the skin. During my free time, I browse the internet. Sure, I get caught in the weird part of the Internet from time to time, but anything's wonderful as long as I don't come across pictures or stories of animal abuse. 

Time and again, I found posts that disrespect (that's a really pejorative term in many cases) belly dance, its culture and origin (which no one really knows), and those who perform the dance. 

Time and again, I found posts that disrespect (again, that's a pejorative term) American Tribal Style® and or Tribal Fusion belly dances. 

Let's focus on the Tribal bashers (the Trishers? Tribashers?). What's really disheartening is that if you go on forums like Bhuz or Tribe.net, you'll see Oriental style dancers bashing Tribal, saying that Tribal is not belly dance. And it's cute (okay, it's not) when you see that in some of their posts, these dancers refuse to call themselves bellydancers because they think the term "belly dance" and "belly dancers" are demeaning. They do Middle Eastern dance. They do Oriental dance. They go to Egypt or Turkey to study with the greats and try to keep the art form intact. They don't like the term "belly dance" yet they tell Tribal dancers to use whatever name but not belly dance. 

But wait, turns out, these Oriental dancers actually use "belly dance" to promote their work, albeit with a cringe, because it's easier to get their point across. 

I won't discuss that in detail and I don't really pay attention to those posts because, well, the posters have made themselves look and sound ignorant. 

The thing that really gets me is the constant telling that Tribal style belly dance and especially ATS® are considered cultural appropriating. 

Okay, I get it. ATS® has indeed borrowed lots of elements from different cultures across the globe. The Puja for one is an adaptation of East Indian prayer, then Megha Gavin from Devyani Dance Company expanded it (I don't know Ms. Gavin that well, but I do know that she is knowledgeable in Indian culture and philosophy) and FatChanceBellyDance® adapted the extended Puja, which I have yet blogged about. I'M SO SORRY. IT'S COMING ALONG!

Then there's the jewelry (Afghani, Yemeni, Pakistani, Kohistani, Turkoman, Kuch), make-up (facial tattoos inspired by the Berber, the Ouled Nail; bindis from Indian culture), costume (India, Middle East), music selection (too many to mention, from folkloric Bedouin to contemporary Balkan to modern beatboxing, and we play finger cymbals too), and of course the dance itself.

Full disclosure: I'm an ATS® belly dancer. I don't have that much money, but when I do, I use it to take dance classes and buy dowry (which includes jewelry and costuming bits and pieces).

For the jewelry, again, since I don't have that much money but I need to get that chunky, more is more look, I sometimes have to opt for cheaper jewelry. I mix and match cheap and plain silver bangles with the monster ones that I've carefully tried to research. I own several pieces of Assuits, only one of them is more than fifty dollars including shipping. My prized possessions include a Tuareg spike and dome ring that I bought from my friend, the amazing dancer/photographer/hair-flower-creator Shelly Swanegan Hamalian, a gold-washed Turkoman ring from Sirik.com, a Carol Felley cat with Amethyst ring (my birth stone is Ruby, but I'm really drawn to Amethyst), and a silver hip chain from NakaRali (I bought this one at TribalFest 11 and I'm still broke now). I wear the cat ring because I'm crazy about cats. Plus, it's silver, it's huge, and it fits in the more is more aesthetics.

For facial tattoos, I use the chin line and the three dots near the outer corner of each eye. I stopped wearing the dots over my eyebrow because I learned that it's used for Indian brides. I'm not a bride, nor am I Indian, although you know, when (I'm not using "if") John Abraham proposes, I'll be one, and y'all are invited to the wedding. In this video, Ms. Nericcio clearly states that bindis and facial tattoos in ATS® are purely ornamental. Also, go here for more information on facial markings. 

I wear turban when I dance because my hair is short (and I've a small head) and I need something to stick the flowers on. Also, as androgynous as I want to be, men do wear turbans, and in a way, my turban can both conceal and show that I'm a dude. 

Does that make me, an ATS® belly dancer, a cultural appropriator? I guess for some people, yes. But I do know my limits, because I know which elements I need to use, which elements I can go without, and not only because of aesthetic reasons. Having knowledge and information on the things we wear and create (and for some, the things we eat) is one of the ways to adopt a culture and promote its beauty. If you go to FatChanceBellyDance® studio, you'll see stacks of books about tattoos and jewelry and textile. Those ladies, especially Ms. Nericcio, know their trade.

ATS® is not an authentic representation of Middle-Eastern dance. That fact was established a long time ago. Some people are ignorant of that, and that's also another fact. So let me write this again: ATS® is not an authentic representation of Middle-Eastern dance. 

But many ATS® dancers (I'm not saying all) are well aware of the origins of the jewelry they wear. Some of them can even point the places out on the world map. Some have even been there. These dancers help expose the world to a culture rich with tradition and exquisite jewelry (and then some), which means more production, more income, and eventually more revenue to the craftsmen and the overall tourism industry. 

At the Indian and Vedic Culture miniseminar several months ago, Ms. Colleena Shakti said that the NakaRali silver supplier and craftsmen had doubted that their products would sell well in the USA (and subsequently, the world), because they had low demands in India. More and more young people in India prefer the more modern (and sometimes cheaper) jewelry. This stroke a chord. Many Indonesians, I for one, don't wear traditional clothings or promote the traditional jewelry, which by no means is less exquisite than Indian jewelry. 

In Evolutions: The Exotic Art of Tribal Bellydance, Zoe Jakes talks about her costume and jewelry inspiration. One of the pieces she wears is a heart-shaped pendant from Java. Is it a religious symbol? I don't think so. What if it is? Should I care? I don't think so either. Is she culturally appropriating one culture from my country? Maybe. But here's what I do know: when I heard Zoe said "Javanese", my heart leapt with pride. She's an international performer and I don't care that I sometimes don't like her style, but she promotes something from my homeland. Also, every time I hear songs that incorporate musical instruments from Indonesia, I feel honored, I feel respected.

Heck, I was ELATED when I saw Kecak dance in The Fall (frigging awesome movie, by the way. Very beautiful, very strange, very surreal, very emotionally exhausting, with Husband #16 Lee Pace in it). 

Also, another thing. There's this Tumblr blog that bashes people wearing Native American headdress. I get it. The thing is, the same writer said that he celebrated Halloween, which is a Celtic tradition and is nowadays commercialized (like Christmas and Easter and the Eid). So, double standards? 

My friend Julia sent this link to a great article (the conclusion is, it's hard to draw the line as to what exactly is "cultural appropriation", but the rule of thumb is to not wear something that has a deep symbolic meaning like a war bonnet, nor something that has religious meaning like the Rosary, and always make sure that the craftsmen get respectable cut because, well, they need the money to keep producing those gorgeous items. By the way, in terms of turbans vs. war bonnets, you know, many turbans are worn because of the functional purposes). 

Well, I'm beat. I was supposed to do my homework, but I really felt that I needed to get this one out first. 

Addendum: I've also written about the Balinese-inspired performance by Zoe Jakes and Marci Ann at Tribal Fest 13.

***

Man in orange and green turban photo is taken from Pink.City.Mag and check out its page on Turbans!

Photo of Carolena Nericcio by Kristine Adams. 

Photo of me taken by Shelly Swanegan Hamalian.