farewell

Let me tell you a secret: I hate goodbyes. I hate to leave someone or something because of inevitable priorities. I am someone who's attached to the past and when I love someone or something, unless there's a turn of events, I'll stick to that someone or something until the death.

That explains why I almost invariably order vegetarian fried rice and either mineral water, iced tea, or iced lemon tea whenever possible.

When I resigned from my *ahem* 9 to 5 job of three and a half years in early 2009, I cried so hard at the end of the 15th year anniversary party of the company I worked for. The last event I helped organized.

I left my job to prepare my *ahem* studies abroad. During the preparation, I got so engrossed with dancing and the first The Dance Within that I missed the admittance deadline.

But this year, I was prepared. Or... rather *ahem* more prepared. I'm leaving for San Francisco on January 5th, 2011. It will either be for six months or more. I'll definitely be home for Christmas if everything goes well.

Going away for such a long time means leaving dear friends, colleagues, and students I've come to grow with over the past years. It's been such a privilege to be able to also learn from them.

When I return, I will not see some of them ever again. Some of my students are foreigners and they will have to come back to their respective countries when I'm gone. And one of my colleagues is getting married and staying abroad to settle down with her husband.

I have resigned from the studios I worked at, teaching Oriental dance. My last class will be on Thursday, 30 December 2010.

A little Christmas gift and several farewell presents, and that... that really makes me sad.

But somehow, though I feel emotionally down, there is also a hint of hope that I will come back and teach again. And there's also this little budding feeling that everything is on its perfect timing. I'm on that path, the path that will lead me to the place I want.

In San Francisco, I will become a full-time student. There's a zilch chance of me joining a troupe (student visa only, lack of time management skill, and most probably lack of talent).

And then, there's always another goodbye there. And hello again Jakarta, some time after.

And that... that hello makes me smile.