hitting the brick wall

Earlier this week I was thinking how time had gone so fast. How I had landed in San Francisco this year on that cold January night and then had struggled to get into a university in the USA. Now my first semester as an MFA student is almost done and I'm a quarter closer to earning my degree.

Then just this morning, a friend told me how she felt time had gone so fast - as if she had blinked herself into the end of the year. And it's true.

Let me tell you my deepest, darkest secret. It won't be my deepest, darkest secret anymore after I've told you, so at least that's one out and millions more to share. What can I say, my life is an open book and the secrets are there, waiting to be revealed to anyone who cares to read it.

Now, about that deepest, darkest secret: I sincerely wish I could stop time. I sincerely wish that I could take the happiest moment of my life with the people I care about and just freeze it and live it forever and a second. Maybe that's what Heaven is. Possibly.

The point is, as I'm getting closer to earning an MFA, that means my days of taking classes at the FatChanceBellyDance studio are also numbered. I had already complained about not being able to go to Thursday classes next semester (February until May) because of the new school schedule. This means I'm only limited to the Saturday classes and Dance Conditioning sessions. This means I'll be missing my friends who usually come only on Thursdays.

Then there's the physical limitations. There's so much that my brain has to process. There's so much that my muscle memory has to take in. There's so much that my reflexes has to train themselves to remember. I've been away from the weekly velvetRAQS practices for less than a year and now whenever I try to do the Turkish Shimmy or the Arabic Shimmy with my left foot as the dominant one, my shimmies will get stuck. Shimmies have never been my best friend. Layering movements on regular Oriental shimmies has been so hard. Doing the sharp pop, lock, and hit with my body has been almost impossible.

The fears and paranoia are the cherry on top of the cake. What if when I go back home to Indonesia, I can't find anyone to dance ATS with? This is not about the invested money and energy and time and what have you, this is about not being able to do the dance that you love so much. This thought scares the bejeebus out of me. The fact that this dance demands so much and the fact that I, as a teacher, also demand so much because I want to keep the purity of FCBD ATS, posture and all, they may not be appealing to many people.

Then I realized, heck, if I can get only one or two people to dance with and they give their best like I do, I will be happy. Then I realized, I am a human, there's just so much that my body can do. But I will work with my strengths and my flaws and I will learn to love myself and accept that probably I can never shimmy while doing a full split. And these realizations came after watching this video:

That is Oskar, the blind cat. I wrote earlier about Ms. Wendy Allen's three-legged dog, the sweet Abby Noodle Bumskooter. And I have to repeat myself: it's amazing how animals (some, like Oskar and Abby, aided by kind humans) can constantly amaze and inspire me to do more and never give up, even when I'm hitting a brick wall.

the dance within 3d: one world

Well, I'm excited.

I'm half way across the galaxy, inundated with school work and classes at the FatChanceBellyDance Studio, trying hard to keep the insects from occupying my apartment, and making the most of the Thanksgiving break. All this while my fellow dancers back home at our dance institution Dancewave Center are plotting and toiling our third annual recital, The Dance Within 3D: One World.

The Internet is really making our lives easier. I'm not just talking about posting events over at Facebook or tweeting the latest updates, or uploading pages of information to DancewaveCenter.com, it's also the convenience of reviewing drafts of designs for the posters, fliers, tickets, and other promotional materials, the Messenger chats with Ms. Miftahul Jannah, velvetRAQS director and general manager of Dancewave Center, as well as conversations with Monique Chai, co-general manager of Dancewave Center and director of the Hip Hop and Burlesque troupes of Dancewave Center.

The result is this:

The Dance Within 3D: One World is Dancewave Center's third annual recital. It's going to be held at the prestigious Gedung Kesenian Jakarta, on Saturday, 7 January 2012. It features signature dance-theatrical performances with dances from around the globe: Hip Hop, Oriental (Folkloric and Modern), Tribal (American Tribal Style and Fusion), Burlesque, Bollywood, and Contemporary.

This year, after reminding our beloved audience of the importance of Dance (2009), and the Dream (2010), it's time to remember the Duty. Hence the 3D: the Dance, the Dream, the Duty.

And this Duty is to our beloved blue planet, to the great Mother of all: Earth.

Tickets are on sale now. For more information, go to the website.

areas that need improvement

Hokay. Where in the world should I begin?

I know where my stance is in the belly dance world, or any world for that matter: I am to never stop learning. This is not just for humility sake, but for refining the techniques, skills, and presence needed in order to really grace the stage.

At times I feel the need to constantly realign myself with the dance and its rules, and by dance I mean American Tribal Style (ATS). Sure, there are also rules within Oriental, such as: chest lifted, arms never in chicken wings position, feet close together; but as someone who've been studying Oriental for three years, I feel that these rules are made for aesthetic purposes. I am probably wrong, since I'm only a baby dancer, but the point I'm trying to make is that with ATS, every body angle, every arm sweep, every floreo, every head tilt, is a cue. That's why it is essential to make sure we execute the Moves or Steps correctly.

Laura, one of the fellow dancers who also danced that night at Tannourine last Friday (November 18, 2011) convinced her husband, Luke, to take videos of the sets. She then sent the links to us. I had felt good about the dance, so I watched it. Then I cringed. Here's why:

1. Limp wrists. My God my wrists are so limp. I have dainty, limp wrists. I overdid the playfulness of the wrists in some of the Steps. In my daily life, I love my limp wrists. They are somewhat a statement of my masculinity (HA!), but in dance, I want to project strength, although not necessarily masculine strength. I had the same problem with my bouncy neck and head. After dancing with my sword and doing ATS, I think I may have succeeded in overcoming it. I will do the same to my wrists.
2. Forearms too close to the chest. Holly hallelujah. I was so sure that my forearm and my chest had enough distance when I was doing Pivot Bumps. My right forearm carriage was okay, but my left forearm was definitely too close to my chest, and that is wrong. Whenever our arms are in Table Top position, or when we're doing Split Arms in ATS, the arm(s) that is/are in Table Top should be extended with the elbows making a soft curve as if there is a big Swiss Ball in your arms.
3. Slow Song Face. With my thick lips, if I try to project a thin, mysterious smile, it will end up looking like a frown. During Maleh U Filfil (a slow, mysterious, instrumental, haunting song), I gave my usual thin, mysterious, sly smile. That wasn't captured nicely. It made me look smug. Maryann was giving a genuine smile and that translated so well.

Sensei Kae told us about having the Precision in the dance. I totally understand that. I've seen non-FatChanceBellyDance ATS troupes doing FCBD moves (on YouTube) but they lack the precision, the arm carriage, the lift of the chest and chin that the moves looked so sloppy.

No.

I know this might sound zealous and overbearing and probably a bit scary (like Single White Female scary), but if I want to bring FCBD ATS back to my home country, I have to make sure I have what it takes to present it FCBD style, posture and all.

At least I remembered to engage my abs that night.

***

Still photo from the video by Luke Terheyden, showing (from left to right: Miriam, Julia, Maryann, and yours truly).

class notes (new steps, laybacks, more floorworks)

The past two (or three?) weeks have been some kind of a whirlwind, what with Sensei Kae taught us a new way to spin (I'll write it up in another blog entry, I promise. Oh, and that blog entry will also include the Extended Prayer. I just need to doodle and scan it to better illustrate the full gorgeousness of the whole Puja), me recovering (I'm 98% healthy! Yay!), and another Tannourine show coming up (Friday, November 18), this time with live music by Helm. I know, right? This is going to be my first performance with live music and it's the great Helm of all bands. Oy, the pressure.

These notes are from Sensei Kae's class:

Egyptian Sevillana

1. Start with Basic Egyptian (first until fourth counts), then angle the body on the fifth count so your chest faces the left wall of your phone booth and you almost show your back to the audience in front of you.
2. When angling the body, drop the two arms, just like in the first part of Sahra Turn (actually, the body angle at this moment should also match the first part of Sahra Turn).
3. On the sixth count, move your right arm just like when you do the first turn of the Sahra Turn (like holding a tray above your head). Also like a Sahra Turn, to your right on the sixth count.
4. Keep your left hand near your left hip and bring it up only on the seventh count (while you're turning), but slowly so it floats up and ends its float on the eighth count.
5. The eighth count (or half of the eighth count) of Egyptian Sevillana is spent by doing the pose with arms raised and waiting for another down beat to start a new count.
6. You have to pay attention to your leader when he/she is doing Basic Egyptian and cuing to Egyptian Sevillana. You might not be able to execute the first move (arms sweeping down like Sahra Turn) properly if you don't concentrate and therefore have to rush the sweeping down and the turn.

Triangle Step

1. This is a very beautiful eight-count step indeed. I will ask the assistance from the big-ass footprints once again.
2. Imagine there's an inverted triangle (dotted orange) inside your pizza box (red). On the first count, place your right foot on the upper left point of the triangle. Make sure that your toes point to the front, therefore stopping the lower body from twisting too much but still get the upper body to twist just enough so that you feel like showing the audience your back (but not much). Your arms should be framing your body as if you're doing a Wrap Around Turn, however, your right arm should be lower (the right arm in Wrap Around Turn is table-top height, the right arm in the first section of Triangle Step is about 45 degrees). There is one soft floreo on each wrist when bringing the arms to frame the body. Chest lifted at all times. The corresponding number in the diagram is number 1. On the first count, the weight of your body goes to your right foot.
3. Stay until the second count.On the second count, the weight of your body switches to the left foot.
4. On the third count, move your right foot back near your left foot, but keeping the arm frame and body angle the same. Body weight distributed evenly on both feet.
5. On the fourth count (not the fifth!), move your left foot to the upper right point of the triangle. This is the mirror image of what you just did on pointer #2, including the floreo. The corresponding number in the diagram is number 2. Body weight is on left foot.
6. On the fifth count, switch the body weight to the right foot. Arms stay.
7. On the sixth count, move your left foot near the to the right, but as you step in, the toes of the left foot should point to 10 o'clock (or somewhere like this). This will give you the momentum to do a T-step turn on seventh and eighth counts. Starting on the sixth count, move the arms up with a soft floreo, just like when doing the turn in Arabic Twist with Turn.

These notes are from Ms. Kristine Adam's class (featuring a photography also by Ms. Kristine Adams. This photo is a series of a very fun project involving Ms. Nericcio and Rachel Brice switching their costumes and make-up!). Also, when I realized that it was going to be Ms. Adams teaching for that Saturday, I really wanted to work on laybacks and floorworks, knowing that she's one of FCBD troupe members who did that Layback Song (as featured in Volume 7). So it was really nice that Theresa, one of my classmates, requested to do a layback.

1. Laybacks, like Diagonal Trio, Dueling Duets, and Floorworks, have to be discussed prior to dancing.
2. Do not initiate (that means cue) a Layback if you don't feel comfortable doing it, or if you haven't done enough warm-up for your back.
3. The cue for a Layback is what makes it different than a Deep Bodywave. When doing a Deep Bodywave, your head stays level while your upper body (below the neck) undulates. Imagine having a sword or a basket or something balanced on your head. You want to keep the head level and stable. On the other hand, when doing a Layback, you sort of fuse your head to your neck, and they should be one line. Think of this as having an apple wedged under your chin. You don't want to squeeze the apple, but you also don't want to drop it.
4. The initial arm placement is Split Arm #2 (right arm up, left arm table top).
5. To do a Layback, lift your ribcage up, so you have the slight tilt on your upper back, and when you can't lift your ribcage up anymore, start to bend your upper body backwards. DO NOT FORGET TO BREATHE. DO NOT BEND YOUR KNEES TOO DEEP. DO NOT THRUST YOUR HIPS FORWARD.
6. When you have achieved the degree of bending that's comfortable to you, sweep the left arm down your body and to your left to go all the way up above your head (not above your forehead!) while sweeping the right arm to your right and ending with your right hand next to your right hip. Then (without stopping, actually), sweep the left arm down along the left side of your body and the right arm up along the right side of your body, the left hand should end next to your left hip. Then as you go up, with your left hand, trace an imaginary half circle on your left, so both arms will end above your head. I hope this makes sens.
7. Remember to always breathe. Not breathing will make you see stars when you come up.
8. Bending the knees too deep will make the hips thrust forward and will put more strain on the lower back.
9. To keep the hips from bending forward, you may want to create the sense that your lower body (hip downward) is anchoring itself to the ground by squeezing your thighs together and or engaging your core muscles. This also helps with Torso Twist. I actually tried squeezing my hips together and engaging my abs and my hips stopped swinging when doing Torso Twist!

On a somewhat related note, on Dance Conditioning last week, Ms. Lalwani showed us a really cool trick for a Backbend when doing Floorwork.

If you don't have anyone to spot you and you happen to have one of those exercise bands, use it like a rower. Secure the band, grab each end of the band, and get on your Floorwork position and try the Backbend. As you come up, if you feel tired, the exercise band will help pull you up. The goal is to rely on the band less and less as you work on the Backbend. Work on your Quads, Glutes, and Abs for the effortless look of a Floorworks.

Well, that's it! Quite a long post, eh? If nothing of this makes sense, I'm really sorry, but I hope these notes will help you. And remember, always do a proper warm-up before doing Layback and Floorworks.

kali and medusa

My fascination with sword dancing began when I was traveling in Greece. I took a private class with Ms. Maria Aya of Oriental Expression and she introduced me to the art of sword balancing. Ever since then, I was hooked.

My first scimitar, Lilith, has been dancing with me since April 2009. I don't get to dance with her much, only during special gigs and Dancewave Center's annual recital (the third annual recital is on Saturday, January 7, 2011 in Gedung Kesenian Jakarta! More details will be posted!). One reason why I don't dance with my scimitar a lot and at every chance I get, is because I'm worried it's going to be a schtick, a gimmick, and it'll lose its sense of exclusiveness.

I left Lilith in Jakarta. I can't afford to bring her to the USA and have her confiscated. That justified my getting another sword, one that looks similar to her. Lilith's kind is called the Balady Scimitar. I contacted several vendors about this type of scimitar and only one responded kindly (I have no idea why) and had it available in stock. So I got Kali from BellyDanceProps.com.

While browsing for another Balady Scimitar, I also fell in love with a unique sword called Sultan Scimitar. This particular sword seems to be available only through Atlanta Belly Dance. The experience was unnerving. I admit I was late in paying (through PayPal) the purchase (four days), but after I did, I contacted them and never received a response. I didn't know if they had accepted my payment or if they were sending me the sword. It was so unnerving that I had to "Like" their Facebook page and posted a comment concerning the status of my purchase. I paid on Sunday, October 9, and Medusa finally arrived on Tuesday, October 25. Medusa has a brown stain, but she balances really well and looks fierce and huge.

I'm planning to leave them in my Berkeley apartment when I'm returning to Indonesia for semester breaks, but I will have to bring them to me to Jakarta, and I think I know of a way.

Flight regulation from USA to anywhere in the world doesn't prohibit sword from being carried, but not in the cabin compartment. Ms. Wendy Allen suggested I buy a gun case, but I think I will buy golf stick carrier instead. Either way, I'm so excited.

from pink coin belt to pink turban

Well, on Friday, October 21, 2011, I just had my first experience of dancing in the USA and as a member of BlueDiamondBellyDance, student troupe of FatChanceBellyDance. There is a little story behind this.

I was supposed to be in the Chorus only (first performance), but on Wednesday night two days before the show, at 11 PM, I got a message from Miriam, the dancer in charge for the evening's performance, that one girl got a nasty fever. Miriam asked if I felt like replacing her (which meant dancing not only in chorus). I wasn't sure about this until Miriam forwarded me her e-mail exchange with one of FCBD teachers about my being more than a Chorus and the teacher responded positively.

So that was how my first experience came to be.

Of course, I just had to have my mozuna and scarf that I used as my turban accessories fell off. Well, not really fell off, but the dangling parts of the mozuna and the scarf wrapped around my neck. Thankfully it was on the last song that we danced to, although I did have to be careful during the Calibrated Spin for the tip song.

From that moment on, I shall now be remembered as the boy whose bits of the turban fell off.

Oh, and this entry will not be complete without mentioning the awesomeness of one Tasha Hudick and her Mini Cooper (and her co-pilot for that evening, Ms. Kristine Adams) who got me on time and safely to 16th Street & Mission BART Station to catch the last train home.

Another funny thing was that the FCBD members who performed that evening: Ms. Anita Lalwani, Ms. Kae Montgomery, and Ms. Adams, were the ones with whom I had my initial contacts with FCBD (aside from Ms. Nericcio, obviously). Ms. Nericcio referred me to Ms. Adams about taking private lessons, then Ms. Lalwani became my first private instructor, then Ms. Montgomery became my second private instructor. I don't know. I just felt that that night at Tannourine was when everything became sort of a full circle.

I'm officially ill now. I was sneezing at Tannourine, and then last night after the classes at FCBD. Finally, I simply couldn't get up for this morning's Dance Conditioning session with Ms. Lalwani. I felt really bad because they're doing chest opening work-out and I had suggested that and they endured the torture without me.

Whee. I'm off to make dinner and chow down some drugs. I still owe you the Extended Prayer sequence and some more Class Notes.

CREDITS:

Group shot by Ms. Kristine Adams (courtesy of Miriam Fiorenza Landini). Action shots by Yuka Sakata.

class notes (attitude, levels, floorworks)

What started as a mere procrastination has eventually become a justification: I'm going to post class notes every two weeks. I'm really sorry, but I'm inundated with so much work from school that I sometimes woke up not having a clean bowl to eat my breakfast cereal.

Two Thursdays ago, I had my first BlueDiamondBellyDance rehearsal at the FCBD studio. BDBD is FCBD's student troupe, so it was a really humbling experience and also a huge booster for my ego (what can I say, I'm just so honest).

The rehearsals start at 6 PM, and that is also another excellent point because I don't have to waste my time going back to my apartment from school. I can just go directly to the studio. Although that means I'll have to pack my pantaloons and zils and scarves as well as some food so I won't get too hungry.

However, there was a power outage at several BART stations in downtown SF, so I arrived late and hungry (I couldn't eat at the bus, I couldn't eat at the BART station nor on BART). So I just plopped myself on the chair near the books, ate my sandwich, and changed. By the time I entered the studio, the ladies had been dancing half the first song of our chosen set. I decided to just get into the chorus and wear my hip scarves after the set ended.

It was a big thing also because Ms. Sandi Ball, who was responsible for BDBD, was accompanied by none other than Ms. Nericcio. Ha. I just ran into that. I was tired, hungry, unprepared, and I just had to be observed by the Big Mama during my first ever student troupe rehearsal.

Many moons ago, I had the chance to interview Ms. Nericcio for this blog and in one of the series, I asked her what made someone a good FCBD student, and she said: Show up on time, leave your baggage at the door, be open minded, be in a good mood, allow your mood to be transformed, follow directions, and be polite to the teacher and be helpful to other students, but don't micromanage others.

I was late, my mood was almost down there, so my dancing that night was off. Here are a few pointers from Ms. Nericcio:

1. Remember the body and performange angle
2. Work on the formation placement and blocking
3. Communicate with your fellow dancers (this also means giving clear cues)
4. Be much better than what we are now. Push our own envelope. Work harder at just dancing (without thinking what moves comes next, because that should come naturally).
5. If you want to lead, grab the moment and move forward to the lead position with conviction and attitude.
6. Show your personality while dancing.
7. Match the music with the movement. Articulate with the arms, hit the beat on the right time, know the song, familiarize yourself with the music, improve your musicality. Find which moves or steps go well with the music.
8. A Turn is a big and powerful thing, never forget to end it beautifully with a powerful follow-through so you can seamlessly blend the Turn into another move.
9. Think of the audience! The audience have obviously come to see you dance and have sacrificed other things, so entertain them!

Ms. Ball added these comments:

1. Do what you know! Don't pull out a fancy Step or Move without really knowing how to execute them.
2. Simplify your movements and never forget the follow through for completion.
3. Drill, drill, drill! Go back to Levels 1 & 2 if you have to.
4. Less can be more.

Then Ms. Anita Lalwani took over and we worked on truly milking the moves using Samai rhythm. Man, that was so grueling, just like yoga, but it's really true that you can never be slow enough for Slow Moves. We also worked on the Extended Prayer / Puja that was created by Ms. Megha Gavin of Devyani Dance Company. Ms. Lalwani let me take photos of the Extended Prayer notes and I'll share them with you on the next entry (I'm so, so tired, and I still haven't write my assignment for school, so I hope a picture of the lovely Ganesh will make you forgive me).

On Saturday, it was with Ms. Wendy Allen. We did Level 1 Floorwork. Here are a few pointers:

1. Always talk about this with your fellow dancers before doing it. Floorwork is not for everyone.
2. The Propeller Turn is used for Level 1 Floorwork because the turning section makes the skirt (if you wear it) blossom and out of the way so it won't mess with your legs and knees.
3. When doing Level 1 Floorwork, there's no need to go extremely sideways like in Level 3 or Level 4 when you're doing the Zipper (because you don't want to show your crotch to the audience, plus it just looks more dramatic and nicer if the audience can see your descent from sideways). Just be in your dance angle.
4. You can do a Floorwork Fake-Out. Here's how: Do Propeller Turn and just as you descend, just barely touch the left knee on the floor and then go up again. Do some few Moves, and then lift both arms, drop the right arm (this is the last section of the Propeller Turn before the actual turn), then turn, and descend on the floor for the actual floor work. So the second time before the actual floorwork, you don't have to do the whole Propeller Turn. Again, you have to discuss this with your fellow dancers prior to dancing.
5. When doing Levels, place your right foot in front of the left, slowly raise yourself up onto the balls of your feet, then descend down gracefully and slowly. Or, you can pick up the right boom in the music, and instead of descending slowly, place your arms on table top just for an instant, and then drop all the way down on the boom. Squeeze your thighs together and engage your core for more stability. Keep the back straight the whole time (unless you're doing Torso Twist).
6. Neither Levels nor Drops can be used to go to Floorworks position.

Here's the link to FCBD's Tribal Basics Floorwork DVD.