well hello there, 2012

Alright, as usual, when I'm back in Jakarta, I hardly blog. I have reasons! As soon as I landed in Jakarta, the grueling practice sessions and rehearsals began, and I'm not kidding. A few hours after touch-down, I met my velvetRAQS girls and we practiced the two numbers that I choreographed for Dancewave Center's annual recital, The Dance Within 3D: One World. The sold-out show (yes, sold-out. Again.) was held in the legendary auditorium of Gedung Kesenian Jakarta (Jakarta Performing Arts Building) on Saturday, 7 January 2012.

Here are some photographic highlights from the show. Things weren't perfect (I'm trying to be modest) and by golly look at my bloated belly. Sigh.

I resolve to own six-pack abs for the next recital.

No, really. I do.

The pictures of the velvetRAQS in white Tribal Fusion attire (headdress, bra of the girls, my top, and my belt are all made by me) are of us dancing as Snow Flakes using choreographed moves from FatChanceBellyDance® vocabulary. I'm very proud of my posture as it totally slims down my belly. Haha. I wore my new Ivory Tulle bi Telli scarf from Safti Craft. I only have good things to say about Safti. Very timely production and shipment.

The second set of pictures are of us in black Tribal Fusion attire (my top and belt are made by me). I danced as Kali-Ma who slays the Three Goddesses of Time so Earth could return to her glory (before time, before humans exist).

I'm still waiting for pictures from the first Tribal Bellydance & Fusion Festival organized by Tribal Babes Indonesia, right the next day after The Dance Within 3D: One World, where I danced two numbers. I've got a really cool story for that evening.

***

Photo Credits:

Photos 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 are by Diana Tri from PIKME Photography.

Photo 2 by Yudha Wiraghupta.

2011

I would be remissed if I didn't write any review of the year 2011. However, I've done it on my other blog, the Pink in California. So you might want to head there if you're really, really, REEEEALLLY curious to know more about my life (you're such a stalker! But I like being stalked. So, HA.)

2011 marked the first time I've been away from my home (and my country) for a long period. True, I had a blast with EF at San Francisco and finally doing what I had been dreaming of doing since 2008: learning American Tribal Style® at FatChanceBellyDance®, and not only that, but I also had the opportunity to perform live with BlueDiamondsBellyDance, student troupe of FatChanceBellyDance®. Twice, actually. The second one with live music by none other than Helm (gasp!).

In the other blog, I wrote that I wanted to focus more on dancing and writing for 2012. I guess I need to be more specific.

What I really want is to further improve my American Tribal Style® skills and really making myself ready to teach it on my own, of course using the FatChanceBellyDance® format. As much as I love being in California (Californians are so friendly! NOT. Well, some are), I miss being at home, being in Jakarta, speaking Indonesian, and dancing with my troupe mates.

Well, here's to the good things and the bad things that occurred in 2011. And here's to hoping for a stronger, more beautiful self in 2012.

real time performances (this is improv, man!)

During the two times I had the privilege to dance at Tannourine, I witnessed the FCBD ladies discussing their set right in the backstage. Clearly they knew the songs well, they'd been dancing with each other for a long time, and they didn't rehearse. The BlueDiamonds, on the other hand, had planned the sets earlier (like two weeks earlier) and had at least rehearsed the set once.

Being in Level 4 means either the present teacher or us gets to decide the songs for a set, then do a run through once to orient ourselves with the set. The second run through is the rehearsal, and the third (and last) is the show. After the first run through and before the rehearsal, we decide who dances with whom in what song to what (Floorworks? Levels? Spins?). We do this in the comfort of the studio, with great sound system, good lighting, and relatively reliable flooring.

Then came Friday, 9 December 2011.

Kelsey, one of our dance sisters was going to be proposed by his fiance. His fiance asked Laura's (another dance sister) husband if she could ask the members of BlueDiamonds to perform. It was a surprise proposal. He was going to propose at Palace of Fine Arts and they'd go to a restaurant in downtown San Francisco for an afterparty. She didn't know that we would go there and surprise her with a dance.

Then we'd ask her to join us dance. This meant we couldn't plan the set ahead of time.

None of us had seen the place. This meant we had to decide the formation and how many people would be the featured dancers and where the chorus would stand, on the very spot right before we danced.

One of the more experienced dancer, Shelly, advised to do it Cafe Style (diagonal, closer proximity among the dancers, and no spins). When I was putting on my make-up at Jennifer's place, there were three of us and she put herself in Cafe Style, as if knowing that it would be in close quarters.

In the end, we managed to pull it off and everyone agreed that it was so fun.

Me, I still can't believe we did it like that, without rehearsal, without practice. I still can't believe we did it on the spot and it turned out fine.

Moral of the story #1: ATS is about improvising and adapting to the situation and the condition of the stage (or lack, thereof).

Moral of the story #2: Having a responsible point person with attention to details is important (we were so glad that Laura took this job)

Moral of the story #3: Zills can really improve the presence and excitement.

Moral of the story #4: Bust your energy out. When I danced to Anathema, I did an Egyptian Half Turn and saw Shelly's hips moving with energy. I wasn't feeling like being totally out, but when I saw her and her hips, I told myself, "F*ck, I need to get my act together." and tapped into her energy.

Such a lovely night. Such a lovely couple. Such lovely energy. Such lovely dancers.

And such a lovely dance.

***

Photo by Maya Vella

(L-R) Jennifer, Shelly, Yours Truly, Laura

breaking the brick wall

Yes, this is still about the brick wall.

Princess Farhana wrote an excellent article about choosing the music to dance to. I only have a few things to say about it.

The first one is: I agree with everything she wrote.

Whenever I see people who work hard to do what they do and do it so beautifully, I can't help but feel envious. I can never sing as good as Sarah Brightman or do melisma as precise as (the recorded) Beyonce. I was feeling nostalgic and watched Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit (RIP Mary Wickes) and I realized that, just like in the first movie, those people could sing well, and it broke my heart that when I tried to sing along, I marred the song.

The same thing also happened in writing. I'm not talking about the big, published names. I'm talking about my classmates. There were times when I just closed my eyes when they read their piece and then heard great lines and thought, "Crap! That was an awesome line! Why didn't I think of that?"

Then there's the dance.

There are dancers with clear and precise pops and locks (Kami Liddle, Ela Rogers, April Rose, Samantha Emanuel). There are the dancers with spins and turns to die for (Zoe Jakes, Petite Jamila). There are dancers with incredible gymnastic skills and flexibility (Rachel Brice, Frank Farinaro). There are dancers with killer shimmies (Amar Gamal, Alexey Paraschuk, Bozenka, Dondi Dahlin). There are dancers who are amazing choreographers (Jillina, Sabah Saeed). There are dancers with effortless grace (Colleena Shakti, Devi Mamak, Sonia Ochoa, Mihrimah Ghaziya, Maria Aya). There are dancers with such posture that command the room (FatChanceBellyDance, Tamalyn Dallal).

But most all, these dancers (and more whom I didn't mention) can move the way I want to move. Every time I see the pops and locks and every time I listen to songs that move me and inspire me to do the pops and locks and ticks, I get frustrated and hit the brick wall. Why? Because I can't do them.

Every time I listen to Bollywood songs and then get to my feet and want to move, I get frustrated and hit the brick wall. Why? Because I know nothing of Hindi moves and mudras and what have you.

There's a little Tribal get-together that Tribal Babes Indonesia hosts right the next day after The Dance Within 3D: One World. Cinzia di Cioccio of Les Soeurs Tribales is going to have a workshop and then she's going to dance in the get-together. I was asked to dance two numbers and there are already a million songs to choose from.

Finally, I chose two songs and just sent them to Desi, the organizer from Tribal Babes Indonesia. I told her that I was sending the songs to her so I could stop making it harder for me to choose the songs I wanted to dance to. By sending the songs, I could concentrate on practicing with the two songs. I'll be dancing an ATS solo for the first one and Tribal Fusion for the second one.

I'm taking Princess Farhana's advice. No matter how hard I want to do pops and locks and ticks, I'm going to do what I can do with my body, at least for now.

hitting the brick wall

Earlier this week I was thinking how time had gone so fast. How I had landed in San Francisco this year on that cold January night and then had struggled to get into a university in the USA. Now my first semester as an MFA student is almost done and I'm a quarter closer to earning my degree.

Then just this morning, a friend told me how she felt time had gone so fast - as if she had blinked herself into the end of the year. And it's true.

Let me tell you my deepest, darkest secret. It won't be my deepest, darkest secret anymore after I've told you, so at least that's one out and millions more to share. What can I say, my life is an open book and the secrets are there, waiting to be revealed to anyone who cares to read it.

Now, about that deepest, darkest secret: I sincerely wish I could stop time. I sincerely wish that I could take the happiest moment of my life with the people I care about and just freeze it and live it forever and a second. Maybe that's what Heaven is. Possibly.

The point is, as I'm getting closer to earning an MFA, that means my days of taking classes at the FatChanceBellyDance studio are also numbered. I had already complained about not being able to go to Thursday classes next semester (February until May) because of the new school schedule. This means I'm only limited to the Saturday classes and Dance Conditioning sessions. This means I'll be missing my friends who usually come only on Thursdays.

Then there's the physical limitations. There's so much that my brain has to process. There's so much that my muscle memory has to take in. There's so much that my reflexes has to train themselves to remember. I've been away from the weekly velvetRAQS practices for less than a year and now whenever I try to do the Turkish Shimmy or the Arabic Shimmy with my left foot as the dominant one, my shimmies will get stuck. Shimmies have never been my best friend. Layering movements on regular Oriental shimmies has been so hard. Doing the sharp pop, lock, and hit with my body has been almost impossible.

The fears and paranoia are the cherry on top of the cake. What if when I go back home to Indonesia, I can't find anyone to dance ATS with? This is not about the invested money and energy and time and what have you, this is about not being able to do the dance that you love so much. This thought scares the bejeebus out of me. The fact that this dance demands so much and the fact that I, as a teacher, also demand so much because I want to keep the purity of FCBD ATS, posture and all, they may not be appealing to many people.

Then I realized, heck, if I can get only one or two people to dance with and they give their best like I do, I will be happy. Then I realized, I am a human, there's just so much that my body can do. But I will work with my strengths and my flaws and I will learn to love myself and accept that probably I can never shimmy while doing a full split. And these realizations came after watching this video:

That is Oskar, the blind cat. I wrote earlier about Ms. Wendy Allen's three-legged dog, the sweet Abby Noodle Bumskooter. And I have to repeat myself: it's amazing how animals (some, like Oskar and Abby, aided by kind humans) can constantly amaze and inspire me to do more and never give up, even when I'm hitting a brick wall.

the dance within 3d: one world

Well, I'm excited.

I'm half way across the galaxy, inundated with school work and classes at the FatChanceBellyDance Studio, trying hard to keep the insects from occupying my apartment, and making the most of the Thanksgiving break. All this while my fellow dancers back home at our dance institution Dancewave Center are plotting and toiling our third annual recital, The Dance Within 3D: One World.

The Internet is really making our lives easier. I'm not just talking about posting events over at Facebook or tweeting the latest updates, or uploading pages of information to DancewaveCenter.com, it's also the convenience of reviewing drafts of designs for the posters, fliers, tickets, and other promotional materials, the Messenger chats with Ms. Miftahul Jannah, velvetRAQS director and general manager of Dancewave Center, as well as conversations with Monique Chai, co-general manager of Dancewave Center and director of the Hip Hop and Burlesque troupes of Dancewave Center.

The result is this:

The Dance Within 3D: One World is Dancewave Center's third annual recital. It's going to be held at the prestigious Gedung Kesenian Jakarta, on Saturday, 7 January 2012. It features signature dance-theatrical performances with dances from around the globe: Hip Hop, Oriental (Folkloric and Modern), Tribal (American Tribal Style and Fusion), Burlesque, Bollywood, and Contemporary.

This year, after reminding our beloved audience of the importance of Dance (2009), and the Dream (2010), it's time to remember the Duty. Hence the 3D: the Dance, the Dream, the Duty.

And this Duty is to our beloved blue planet, to the great Mother of all: Earth.

Tickets are on sale now. For more information, go to the website.

areas that need improvement

Hokay. Where in the world should I begin?

I know where my stance is in the belly dance world, or any world for that matter: I am to never stop learning. This is not just for humility sake, but for refining the techniques, skills, and presence needed in order to really grace the stage.

At times I feel the need to constantly realign myself with the dance and its rules, and by dance I mean American Tribal Style (ATS). Sure, there are also rules within Oriental, such as: chest lifted, arms never in chicken wings position, feet close together; but as someone who've been studying Oriental for three years, I feel that these rules are made for aesthetic purposes. I am probably wrong, since I'm only a baby dancer, but the point I'm trying to make is that with ATS, every body angle, every arm sweep, every floreo, every head tilt, is a cue. That's why it is essential to make sure we execute the Moves or Steps correctly.

Laura, one of the fellow dancers who also danced that night at Tannourine last Friday (November 18, 2011) convinced her husband, Luke, to take videos of the sets. She then sent the links to us. I had felt good about the dance, so I watched it. Then I cringed. Here's why:

1. Limp wrists. My God my wrists are so limp. I have dainty, limp wrists. I overdid the playfulness of the wrists in some of the Steps. In my daily life, I love my limp wrists. They are somewhat a statement of my masculinity (HA!), but in dance, I want to project strength, although not necessarily masculine strength. I had the same problem with my bouncy neck and head. After dancing with my sword and doing ATS, I think I may have succeeded in overcoming it. I will do the same to my wrists.
2. Forearms too close to the chest. Holly hallelujah. I was so sure that my forearm and my chest had enough distance when I was doing Pivot Bumps. My right forearm carriage was okay, but my left forearm was definitely too close to my chest, and that is wrong. Whenever our arms are in Table Top position, or when we're doing Split Arms in ATS, the arm(s) that is/are in Table Top should be extended with the elbows making a soft curve as if there is a big Swiss Ball in your arms.
3. Slow Song Face. With my thick lips, if I try to project a thin, mysterious smile, it will end up looking like a frown. During Maleh U Filfil (a slow, mysterious, instrumental, haunting song), I gave my usual thin, mysterious, sly smile. That wasn't captured nicely. It made me look smug. Maryann was giving a genuine smile and that translated so well.

Sensei Kae told us about having the Precision in the dance. I totally understand that. I've seen non-FatChanceBellyDance ATS troupes doing FCBD moves (on YouTube) but they lack the precision, the arm carriage, the lift of the chest and chin that the moves looked so sloppy.

No.

I know this might sound zealous and overbearing and probably a bit scary (like Single White Female scary), but if I want to bring FCBD ATS back to my home country, I have to make sure I have what it takes to present it FCBD style, posture and all.

At least I remembered to engage my abs that night.

***

Still photo from the video by Luke Terheyden, showing (from left to right: Miriam, Julia, Maryann, and yours truly).