Sunday, January 29, 2012

the owl and the pussycat

Last night, we performed at a friend's wedding. Well, she's actually a friend of one of the velvetRAQS girls and we were asked to dance at her wedding (not Middle-Eastern themed, but we didn't care). They were gracious and the guests were quite enthusiastic.

However, I had mixed feelings.

I don't know if I were just being tired and draggy (as I'm writing this, I'm still feeling tired. I was sneezing and it's usually a sign that I'm going to be hit by a full on cold, so let's just see...), but I'm starting to doubt my performance skills.

It's good that I'm taking a hiatus on performing as BlueDiamondsBellyDance since my school schedule for the Spring Semester (boy, that's a lot of "s") doesn't allow me to go to Thursday rehearsals and classes at FatChanceBellyDance®.

So let's just see where this is going. I'm really hoping this is a false alarm. I'm not taking a full hiatus on dancing because I'm still passionate about teaching.

I guess my problem is that I don't know how much I'm worth. And some nights, like last night, I felt like I didn't give my best. And I feel a headache coming up.

And the significance of the picture with the Owl and the Pussycat? Well, there's something so enchantingly detached and dispassionate about the poem. Not to mention haunting and depressing, with no sense of closure. It just hangs there, in the air, with uncertainty. Just like what I'm feeling right now.

2 comments:

Foodycat said...

The Owl and the Pussycat dance at their wedding under the light of the moon! What's depressing and without closure about that?

Yuska Lutfi Tuanakotta said...

Sigh. I guess I have a different way of interpreting it. Perhaps I just need more of it... I mean, the poem's about a cat (and an owl), and I love cats and I just wish the poem were a bit longer (but not like TS Eliot's "Cats").

Maybe I need a "they lived happily ever after" smack dab right there.

In all honesty, the dancing under the moon thing is so beautiful that it depresses me. I can't stop picturing the two lovely creatures filled with so much love just dancing there in love and happiness and I'd go, "OMIGOD THAT'S SWEET!" and then I'd squeal and think of the concept of eternity which leads to the concept of time which leads to death.

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